~DiLeMmA sTaR LoVe HyM!~

out of love ; again .

2009-05-11T10:14:00.001+08:00

Things couldn't be explained & there isn't at all any mood for me to explain .

I'm no longer in love . The pain is too unbearable but I am putting a strong front .

Good luck .

Hiim ;

2009-01-20T15:24:00.001+08:00

Him .

Thanks for everything ; thank you for all the support you have given to me .
Thank you for the friendship ; companionship and yes ; your very love .

I am so lucky to have you by my side . (:

lengkok ;

2009-01-19T13:50:00.002+08:00

New place thus new beginning .

Haven't been updating for quite sometime ; alot of things took place . First ; on 1st January 2009 my eldest brother , Muhammad Dzulkiflie Bin Jumali got married with Kak Siti . COngratulations to the both of you .

Hais . Now it's left with me and my little brother .Puhleease . I don't want to get married so soon , not at this moment of time .

& I am officially single . Woohoo . (:

Will update very soon . Toodles .

question ;

2009-01-14T18:31:00.001+08:00

Things are getting different for now ; eversince I moved out from CCK . I don't know much about what happens there . All I know ; I miss her . My lady finger .

off-spirited ;

2008-12-09T22:30:00.002+08:00

He was the one who stole my heart for now ; I hope . Had great time talking to him in the wee hours of morning especially we hadnt been really talked that much on the phone for such a long time now . How we miss those moments . Heesh .

Possibilities . That was what we talked about . There were alot of 'What if's ' along the way . That made us think . It was the very first time eversince we last talked we opened up that topic . And he was being super sweet . I hope he remains that way . Gee .

Boy , I am so scared of losing you now ; I know you will leave me for the moment for some reasons and I am willing to wait for you regardless whatever happens . I promise .

I can't forget those moments we spent all these while ; those laughters we shared and those tears I shed .

You are indeed someone dear to me now ; tried to deny but I can't .

All that I want now is happiness . Please don't repeat those mistakes again . I can't seem to keep on closing one eye and pretend . Pretend that it never happened but the fact it does .

IamsointoyourightnowandIdon'tknowwhatIshoulddobaby ;

you made me fly .

2008-12-09T00:22:00.002+08:00

Boy oh boy . I think I'm into YOU .
Thank you for being there for me when I need you ;
You made my heart goes thump!thump!thump!
I guess you managed to stole my heart .

Henderson Wave + Absolute vodka = craziness .

I was shivering ; thanks to you .

Nevertheless ; I've had great times with you guys . Woohoo .

the reason is you ;

2008-11-20T18:53:00.002+08:00

Things are really going haywire nowadays ; it seems . Ergh . Hard to explain literally in words nor actions .

Went thon-ning with b***h ; her friend and HIM .It went okayy . He made me smile most of the time with his lame jokes and his cheeky ways . Thanks alot luhs sey . But he made me upset in a way or two . I confess ; it was my mistake too . Things went okay after awhile and we managed to talked things out . Thus it makes us know each other better & we can understand more about each other . There are things in life that are complicated and only the both of us know . ;)

Went home just now in the morning around 8 . & boyy ; I really miss my bed ! Woohoo . Got some rest and then geared up already for a new day . Was supposed to go to school but unfortunately ; woke up late . So expected . Sholud ave listened to his advice of not going to school . Mulut masin sey . Oh yes ; Shiella darling is hospitalised . :( I miss you darling . Went lepaking with B***h just now and we talked about alot of things . Hope to lepak later again with her . Or maybe not . I am waiting for mama to get home . For goodness sake ; I really don't know what I am feeling right now . There are some things that are mingling in my mind right now . & geeesh, I so hate this feeling . I feel like crying now . & the reason lies within me . :( .

Sometimes , I yearn for spaces . I need space . But at the same time I need someone for me to rely on . I don't know what I should do . Damn .

To youu .

Hey ; thank you for lighting up my life . Thank you so much . I've had a great time with you just now & yesterday although there are conflicts . I am letting out whatever I wanted to say to you actually . I know the main reason of the conflict that happened was about me . I never meant to hide things from you but I really don't know when will be the best time for me to tell you whatever is going on with me ; I don't want to break our promise . I am stuck between two lines and I don't know what I should do . I swear there isn't anything going on between me and my ex's . They are my past and you are my present . & you will be my future soon ; I hope . I know you were upset and pissed off . And I know you don't have the trust in me . I don't expect you to trust me but I whatever I told you were the truth . Boyy , if you think I am not good enough or I am not the one for you , you can just tell me . I want to tell you something . Whatever memories be it good or bad that happened in our relationship will be cherished deep in my heart . MISSED .

loveLOVElove .

&& to him ; thanks for the ring . Love it . (:

DilemmaSTAR

in my heart ;

2008-11-19T00:08:00.002+08:00

i miss him .

Today's B***h's birthday ; we cam-whore alot alot alot . Frankly , I don't know how he really feels for me . It's getting complicated .

Shoot . Don't talk about it . If we're meant to be ; then we'll meant to be . Maybe not now , but one day maybe . :)

Where have you been Apai ? I'm worried sick . I hope you are fine out there okay . I really hope no bad news will i hear today ; or for now . :( Heeesh . Met the section head today & we talked about attendance again .

Nyehehehe . Dearest Mr Siah ; I promise that I will try to attend to all the classes (that is if I can wake up early .)

Boyohboy ; i'm in need of a shoulder to cry on . I so miss my besties .

& to Jaja ; enjoy yourself outside bitch . I love you many many .

shits .

2008-11-16T23:58:00.002+08:00

Ergh ;

I'm blogging at 2359hrs . Another minute before it's officially midnight . A whole new day ; a whole new chapter . And I am hoping that tomorrow will be a better day for me . INSYA ALLAH .

I had an early morning surprise message . From a number I used to know . Checked it out and found out it was actually from Harfiyan aka Busu . I was astonished and dumbfounded . I didn't know what to do . Replied to his messages and he said he still do love me and all . I was confused . He came back the moment I am finally forgetting about him . Why ? He came back into my life when I started to develop feelings for someone else . I am so not going to backstab my DARLING for him . It's being unfair . He said he wanted to meet up in the afternoon . And DARLING was supposed to meet me up today ; but cancelled . :(

Went to wedding functions at two different places . I am so in love with the first venue's decos . So loving it . (: & I adored the second wedding's showcase which consisted of the dikir barat . Ouuuhhs . (:

Went home and get changed . Met up with Busu under my void deck . It was a bit uncomfortable you know . The moment I took his hand and kissed it as a sign of respect ; within seconds all the memories I used to have with him came stringing into my mind . He was the one who gave me hope to move on after I broke up with Irwan . Unfortunately he broke that very promise to be with me . It hurt me well . He made me have the mindset that guys are all the same . Until I met DARLING .

We had a conversation and he kissed my forehead . I pushed him away . I know that this is wrong . I swear I didn't know that he was about to kiss me . :( I am so afraid to tell my BABY . I don't want him to have the wrong ideas . I am stuck right now ; not knowing what to do . DARLING had warned me not to talk about my ex's . But he have the rights to know . BABY ; I am so sorry .

And AZUAN asked me if I wanted to go to ZOUKOUT . Still thinking uh gang . I have to ask DARLING's permission first mahhh .

And I am so missing my DARLING . I LOVE you baby .

my two-toned HAWTSTUFFhulk ;

2008-11-16T02:01:00.002+08:00

HIM .

I am so missing him . Had a slight conflict just now but everything's fine now . (: Hope that I will be able to meet up with him really soon . Things are getting better between the both of us and that makes me glad . (:
Thankfully , things that happened to us were able to be solved . Heesh . I hope he is not like any other guys . I've been hurt ; thus I want things to turn out well this time .

Darling ;
Thank you for all the time you have been there for me when I need you the most . Thank you for understanding me throughout these while .
I appreciated those times we spent & never will I forget it . I am so afraid of getting hurt again baby . I need a saviour right now .
Baby ; I hope we are able to together until the Almighty took our last breath away . I love you .

Today is quite a tiring day . Accompanied Shiella to her grandma's place at Bangkit and went to BPP to chill out .Heesh . & I think she's about to due ; real soon . (:
Perhaps will be heading to Butterfactory this Wednesday due to SUPERRR bitch's birthday partayy . & I don't know if dearest is tagging along . I hope he will .
&&& my eyes are so dready right now yeah . I am still waiting for him to message me . Hehs .

Oh boy oh boy oh boy .

NABEYY . SLEEPY sia . :(

Oh LOVE . I think I better log off .

Cheerios .

&&& to my FFB ; I miss you babes so much sia . :'(

Reunion is a MUST bebehh .

LOVELOVELOVE .

Dilemmastar

my photo updates bebehh .

shot one .

shot twoo .

shot three ;

shot six

wanna see my babyyyy ; counting days .

dbl o ; bitch ;

2008-11-15T00:05:00.004+08:00

PISSED .
The only thing I can describe myself right now ; theorically . My family's situation has gone haywire and I don't know what is next . My own brother has started doing stupid things now .
I 'escaped' from this place I've called home for the past thirteen years to stablise myself . Thanks to my bitch ; she has been there for me these few days . I so LOVE you .
& I went clubbing at Dbl 0 with Kin , Jaja , A-Mat , Kin's LUV , Kin's fren , Fara & Jaja's MOMOK . It was okayy . &&&& some people went TIPSY luhs seyy .

Anyways ; i miss that SOMEONE . Alot . Unfortunately ; our status is left hanging . I don't know what to expect anymore . :( .
All I can do is to pray for him to be happy . (: Cheers .

I update today's post due to someone's complaining that I haven't been updating it . So here it is . Short ; sweet yet simple . (:

LOVES .

Thanks to ya bitch for the wonderful help of everything . ILY . Kamu bukan SETARRRRRRRR . :p

cheers all .

before going ;

while waiting for the train ;

cam-whorer .

LOVELOVELOVE .

it's over .

2008-10-26T15:09:00.005+08:00

went to bugis yesterday with Jaja , Yan , Wan , Wan Kecik & his gf . Met bapak there and as usual sat the coffeshop .
Oh yes , me , wan , jaja and yan thoned at chua chu kang park . ( : FUNFUNFUN . HAd loads and loads and loads of laughter . ( :

Oh yes , finally me and BUSYUKBONCH broke up today . I don't know what I should be feeling . Hais . But life have to move on . Oh well .

No use crying over spilled milk .

memories .

( :

love is gone .

hajarr .

2008-10-11T03:06:00.006+08:00

& today I went out with Hajar darling . So much funfun . It's been awhile since we last met & talk and had fun . Met Jaja after tt & double the fun luhs . (:

So loving it today . Bf met me late & that irritates me luhs . Hehs . Hmph . You owe me ice-cream . :p

here's the update of todayy .

ususus .

LOVES

woohoo . ( :

the 3 of us .

Finallyy ... ii miss hym .

iLOVEhym .

hahaha .

okehs . cant wait for tmr .!

[[ -so he stole my heart . - ]]

2008-10-09T20:34:00.005+08:00

I think this post is going to be short .

To all muslims out there , Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri Maaf Zahir Batin .

Things have been going on well I guess . & I am letting HYM go . For sure . :'(

& I hope things are going on well with this someone . (: Hmm . I miss my FFB luhs . Can't wait to go beraye with them luhs . Heesh . They are so missed . N my batch in KSS too .

Photos uploading tyme !

My dearest akak ipar . She's seventeen mind youu ! (:

BUSUKKKK .

4th day raya .

KARAOKE .

Loves

the new me .

2008-09-07T08:42:00.004+08:00

I've been away for far too long and here I am . Back here . I miss my blog luhs for goodness sake . Freaking much ok .

Alot of things happened since I last blogged . Alot to be let out but lazy to be typed out . Hahs . I've been contacting with my x-FIANCE and we were able to click . He turned into what he was last time . How I wished that he was never to do what he wasn't at all do . He m,ight still be mine now . But as the saying goes , ' Don't cry over spilled milk' . I have to endure this moment of fasting month period ; without him once again . And hari raya mood is just not there . I am SINGLE once again . Back to square one .

Missed my besties so much . Anyways , to Nur Afiqah Bte Abdul Rahman , Happy 19th birthday . I miss her lah . Alotaalot . And definately the rest of the babes too okayy .

Life is getting way complicated nowadays and I have to face it with all confidence and endurance . But I am glad I have someone new to lean on to , my dearest sister in-law . Shiella . I just can't wait for her junior to be freed to the whole world to see ! I am so going to be the first one who is going to cry out with tears of joy . She's still thinking of the right name for baby . I told her that her name must be long because he aunt's name is long . Hahahahaha .

Oh well bloggers , see you people around . Thanks for still visiting my blog ; which sometimes I thought doesn't exit nomore. Haha . Tag mii up . Loved .

To all muslims , Selamat menjalani ibadah puasa ; .

[[ - it's just fate . - ]]

2008-08-24T22:23:00.002+08:00

& here ii am . First of all , congratulations to my brother and my sister in-law . Selamat pengantin baru . (:

Welcome to the family Shella . Can't wait to see your junior very soon . Anyways , today was sucha tiring day . I couldnt believe how tired I was today . And thanks to my dad , he bought me a new phone . (:

Miss you all people . (:

[[ - news . - ]]

2008-07-12T19:02:00.004+08:00

Getting sick and tired of everything . Everything . My love life is all wasted in like a split seconds . The moments we used to share , were all gone out to a waste .

& now ii am officially single . I don't belong to Irwan Bin Jaafar anymore . I belongs to myself . Too many memories that I still cherised while I was with him . Too many buckets of pails I've cried for him . Too many pains I suffered while we were together . & all things will come to an END . I don't know if I am supposed to be happy or what . It's a mixture of feelings you know . But no matter what , I still do think of him . In other words , I miss him . I miss his smile , his singing and HIMSELF .

Shit . I am about to cry now . I can't see myself living without his warmth . Without his touch . But , I promised myself to move on . Be strong . FOr my own good . :S

Our memories .

[[ - Our last moment . - ]]

[[- LOVES - ]]

[[ - It's for you . - ]]

[[-ii am back`!-]]

2008-05-18T07:05:00.003+08:00

Yoha EVERYBODYYYYYY .

II am back ; for good . Ahaks . Missed the tymes I've been spending my tyme infront of dys the computer , cracking my head to tynk what I wanna type out here , in my UNCHANGED blog . BORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIING .

ATTENTION PRINCESS AZIE `! I need ur help `! [ Eu noe wat ii need ! *winks`! . Hehehehes . Oh well , at 0708hrs in the morning , ii am so nuts . II wanna sleep but II cant even sleep `! So , be AWARE that whatever II am gonna type here perhaps may make euu tynk that II am crazyy .

Ahaks . Oh well , lyfe has changed drastically since a few weeks ago ; and ii noticed that people around me changed too . Some for the better , others oh well , for the worst . I don't know if that is going to happen if all of us meet again one day . ((:

I am so looking forward for my ex 5C's to arrange a gathering coz I wanna noe the updates`! I tynk the gals are becoming much much more gorgeous then before ; and the guys are HUNKS . Huahua . Oh well , ii hoped that pretty much .

& so , here ii wanna stop my post .

I love euu , my beloved bloggers . ALOT .

MUAHS `!

Dilemma*STAR*

[[-untitled-]]

2008-04-24T12:25:00.002+08:00

Lyfe have been pretty unpredictable and I've been going through alot of rubbish . I've been hurt freaking loads of tymes , yet and again until sometimes I do feel like giving up . I was so pissed off with hym for always making hys own decisions before asking me . PATHETIC ! I had a tiff with hym yesterday night and I could not take it no longer . I've asked him to leave me but he wouldn't .

Saiful . All that happened was because of hym . He was the one that made me and Wan turned out this way . Is this at all fair ? Why does Saiful have to ruin my relationship with Wan? Arrrrrgh ! I am so pissed off okeh ?? Please lah eh , if you tend to ruin my relationship , I'll make sure your future relationship will be ruined . Seriously .

As for Wan , I really don't understand why he have to make me this way . I have dignity and pride but he never seems to care . I have feelings you know ? I am a HUMAN just like everyone else but he seems not to care . I've been with hym for alsmost two years but he haven't been understanding me much since the very start of our relationship .

ARRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Feel lyke dying .

2008-04-04T08:48:00.000+08:00

(Feat. Ash King)

I see you all the time
Never see you smile
I try to picture what's going on in your mind
He leaves you every night by yourself
He took your love and put it on the shelf
He doesn't really care� how you feel...
You should be moving on girl what's the deal?
I wana see you out that door... cuz girl you know your worth much more

So baby tell me why, you stick around
Always lonely and you only wear a frown
He don't treat you good and you know
The only thing left is for you to go
You shouldn't live a lie with someone
When deep inside you know he ain't the one
I don't know what to say no more
I wanna see you out that door

Yah azizi (yo precious) is mahiri
I really don't wanna see u cry
Mujko samjho dil peh mat lo (understand me don't take it to heart)
Don't wana see another tear in your eye
Baby break away
Let him go
I don't know what he's done to you
But I know that it's time to move on
Girl your is love blind

Girl I understand
That you're scared
And you feel that you might never love again
But baby that ain't true
No no no
I know that there someone there for you
Someone that will see
That you are worth
An undiscovered treasure on this earth
Girl you know your worth so much more
Wana see you out that door

Yah azizi (yo precious) is mahiri
I really don't wanna see u cry
Mujko samjho dil peh mat lo (understand me don't take it to heart)
Don't wana see another tear in your eye
Baby break away
Let him go
I don't know what he's done to you
But I know it's time to move on
Girl your is love blind

Yah azizi (yo precious) is mahiri
I really don't wanna see u cry
Mujko samjho dil peh mat lo (understand me don't take it to heart)
Don't wana see another tear in your eye
Baby break away
Let him go
I don't know he's done to you
But I know its time to move on

II LOVE THIS SONG!!!!

[[-those were the tymes,-]]

2008-04-01T10:51:00.002+08:00

I had fun going out with my friends the other day to the Riverside . We had fun , yo . I love my FFB lahs seii . Really!!! I really wanna go out with them again SOON . Woohooo . I love euu lahs seii .

[[-'& the truth is ...'-]]

2008-03-22T19:31:00.001+08:00

Imagine the world without LOVE . Sometimes we may think that love may not exist but it does one day .
There are people who could not accept the incoming of LOVE even when they feel its existance . There
are others who feel that they do not even need LOVE . Heesh . Different people with different thoughts .
I used to think that having a relationship is not a HUGE deal but i was wrong . I've never been serious in
my past relationships till lately . And to think back, I do learn things from the past relationships I
use to have . Even to the slightest informations . Crazy I know . And I think this is one of the best way
to improve the relationship i am in now with my fiance , Irwan bin Jaafar . I've been uttering alot of
hurtful things to him and kept on trying to HATE him but failed . I don't know why but the craziest
thing is that whenever I uttered those words with my own (BLARDY) mouth , I feel hurt as well . I never
knew that the impact was that great but when he started to say he 'loves me' , boy , i do feel sometimes
I am hanging in the thin air , feeling the great pleasure of love .

There is nothing to describe how much my love is for him . Since the start of our relationship two years ago
until now . From the time we were friends to more than friends . And to the extend of getting engaged .
Two years together really taught me alot of things . I realised I've been become more independent and
becoming more loving as a fiancee. He taught me all that and the opened my eyes to face the reality of life .
He showed me the meaning of patience and responsibility .He controlled my life to show
me that he care , he loves me . At first I don't understand but I finally understood . He brought a new
life in me . He may not be rich with money but he is RICH with LOVE . I know sometimes I've been hurting
him all these while and he have been hurting mine as well but whatever comes may , he still do stand by
me like how I am trying to stand by him . How I wish LOVE may not end up in quarrelling and crying.
I've had enough of crying and hurting myself all these while just because of a person . A person that I
love so much , infact too much to bear .

Anyway , I wanna take this opportunity to tell that person I've always been LOVING ,

Ayang love Hubby alot and nothing can ever take you away from me. No One .

10 THINGS ii LOVE about IRWAN bin JAAFAR .

1. His smile and his big ROUND eyes:) .(that can make me go crazy ,you know!)
2. His personality . (the way he puts others first before himself)
3. His super duper sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet VOICE !(he makes me FLY`!)
4. His responsibility as a SON , BROTHER & FIANCE .
5. He never fails to make me smile & happy even when I am DOWN .
6. He never really tell me he LOVES me but he SHOWS .(which sometimes I got the wrong ideas.)
7. The way he listens when I complained . (he is my EXTRAORDINARY friend ,shhh`!)
8. The way he NURSES me when I am sick even a SLIGHT cough . ( my FREE nurse .`!)
9. He has always been there for me although he may not be ther physically .(i.e:in my dream(:)
10.I just LOVe him for who he is and not what he was in the past .

Unbelievably , he changed alot in me . He made me have the confidence of myself . He kept telling me
I am beautiful the way I am . He kept on reminding me that no matter what , I am always the one he
would want to see everytime without fail . And he will always be the one who make me feel PRETTY
although I am not , I am just an ordinary person with the ordinary looks . Thanks for building my
self-esteem . You have been the boost to what I am today . And yes , you are the only SACHOK guy I've
ever seen in my whole life . Nothing can describe the way how much I LOVE and TREASURE you as in person .
I thank the Almighty for giving me the opportunity to know someone as sweet and special as you , Irwan .
Never will I regret this relationship of ours . I hope we will just learn from our mistakes in the past
and build a better prospect ahead in our life . The life we will one day build together . (:

[[-coz iit seems that ii love euu . -]]

2008-02-07T19:56:00.001+08:00

Juz came bk from Ubin wyf Mama , Darliing , Apan , Amin n hys deariie , Sheila . ((: It was great great fun especially when ii got to be wyf HYM . Lyke DUH . Anyway ... , ii just log in to wish ma FRENS a HAPPY NEW YEAR `!!!

Lotsa love .

Gonna blog again once back from here aiite . ?

Mwahs .

[[-the love will never ever fade-]]

2008-01-24T13:11:00.000+08:00

II am glad that everything between mii and hym is going out well since the last tyme we argued , real bad . And ii LOVE hym alort , with all my heart despite all the bad memories we've been going through all these while . I need hym in my lyfe . Hubby , if eu are reading dys , ii wanna let euu noe how much euu mean to mii and how much ii need ur love . I noe that sometymes ii am the one that have been making eu upset umpteenth of tymes but euu must noe that sometymes eu are the one that made mii do all dys .

I realised throughout this relationship there must be understanding between the both of us . For now , ii will try my very best to understand euu and ii hope euu will understand mii too . I really do love euu with all my heart . I donno how many tymes do ii have to say this but ii am never sick and tired of saying and showing how much ii really do love euu .

There is absolutely no one who can ever replace the love eu have been giving mii . And no one can ever make mii go ga-ga lyke how ii am going head over heels for euu . Eu are my sunshine , when ii am scared hearing the thunder . Eu were the one who have been my medicine when ii am sick . Eu are the only one who makes mii perfect and make mii feel that ii am really treasured and loved . Throughout all the mistakes we've been repeating , ii realised the only one who can make mii calm down is euu , no one else .

Never look back hubby , coz that is what ii am trying my best to do . I wanna look ahead in the future , realising all the mistakes and to refrain from doing it again and again . Those tymes ii had with euu yesterday and those tymes we spent all these while will always be kept deep in ma heart . Never to let go .

I love euu .

[[-ii've really given up on hym -]]

2008-01-12T14:24:00.000+08:00

I wanna make dys clear . At this moment of tyme , between mii and HYM is nothing . We're through . He was the one who made mii do this , n ii've had enough . I don't wanna cry over someone who didn't even appreciate mii all these while and always making mii as if ii am in the wrong . How could ii stand hys ways ? his EGOISTIC ways .? I need my space and ii hope ii am making the right decision now .

I tynk ii am still young and ii can still enjoy and be happy just lyke the others outside , not crying almost every single nyte just for hym . I've had enough of crying over hym while he was in DB and now, when he is back , why do ii have to cey for hym again n again .? I don't believe my eyes when he changed . He changed completely . As the saying goes , a womaniser will always remain a womaniser . Waht more could he ask for ? I am so freaking stupid to fall for hym when he didn't noe how to appreciate this relationshyp ??!! I've repented . Seriously .

Until he shows the signs that he really love mii and wanna be wyf mii , until then ii tynk ii have to be alone . The point is , I've given hym everything ii could give and why does he make mii suffer .? I thought he is different but ii was wrong . I should just calm down now and act as if npthing happen and continue with lyfe. I still have ma family and my friends . I noe they will go through thick and thin with mii , no matter wart happens .

They noe mii betta than that blardy bastard . Atleast , ii am much more secure being alone . Being single is great , ii guess .

Oh well . , ii love euu peeps . N ii hate euu WAN .

[[-the different hym-]]

2008-01-11T17:00:00.000+08:00

Since the day he was back into my lyfe alot of things happened . The ones that made my days and also the ones that made mii cry all throughout the nights . I'm mixed with emotions all the tyme . Sometymes ii wonder if he really the one for mii . I want the old hym back lahs . I wished things are back to normal . I noe that it is tough for mii to accept the new hym but he told mii if ii don't understand hym , the only way is to let hym go . He made mii feel lyke ii am in the wrong all the tyme and he is the only one who is right . Truly unfair .

The other tyme we argued on the fone and ii could not hold back the tears no longer . I told hym wateva ii felt deep inside mii and how much it hurts when he changed completely into someone different . The someone ii barely noe . Yesterday ii met hym and he acted sweet . He was joking around with mii n blew mii kisses , kissing mii all the tyme and hugging mii not letting mii go . I felt weird . How come he was a different man ? BUt ii was havign a blast with hym yesterday . I had fun and ii felt as if ii don't want hym to go back to camp ; but what can ii do .? He have to .

I love hym, yes ii do . But ii can't accept the fact that he was being rude to mii , and putting the blames on mii . And ii am pissed off lahs when hys ex-admirer contacted hym back `! Wahlau . Gerl , get a LYFE lahs can .? He is mine n no longer lyking euu . Don't eu be the next gerl trying to made dys relationship fall apart , or ii swear ii will fynd euu . I have to be strong facing every obstacles now and ii noe that no matter what happens , ii will have to move on . I have my pride and dignity . ((:

ii love euu peeps .

[[- glad .-]]

2007-12-27T14:00:00.000+08:00

Okehs here ii go . It's been such awhile since ii last updated so here ii go .

The otha dae I went to Pasir Ris park for the class bbq and it was freakiing fun lahs , can ..? Hehe . Didi came tooh . N oh well ., tho' there aren't really alot of my clazmates who went , it was , well ... still interesting yaw .. =)

N the coolest tyng is that they brought drinks . I mean THOSE drinks . I broughnt Jannah n Aisyah along tooh . They really had fun tooh , ii hope . Ahaks . Aisyah went home at about 9 accompanied by Yan . Thanks DUDE . Nanti bukak skola aku blanje kau makan kat New York Pizza okehs .? Hehehhe . Oh well ... , there were alot of frogs lahs seii dere . Arrived in the afternoon and it was raining so heavily . I thought the bbq would never start but it did . Ahaks , thanks to the innovative ideas of MMT1Q students lahs seii . Pris was the one who organised this pit but she was the one who was late to turn up . Ahaks . N Kumar was super sweet to come over tho he had to fly off to KL the very next dae . Sweet lahs seii , hym .

Right after Aisyah left , we went all drinking . Ahaks . N ii was . Erm . Drunk . Ahaks . Okehs . To all those people who were affected by my drunkness , ii am truly sorry . =))

Anyway ... this is where ii have to stop now coz ii am getting ready to go out lahs seii .

Tata .

II love euu people`!

MWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHS .

Dilemmastar

[[-& ii am so sick of all this-]]

2007-12-13T21:50:00.000+08:00

I've been thinking it all through these while and it has been hard for me to let go of all the memories ii once had with my darlings BABES and DILEMMAS . I miss those ol' tymes we used to share and help each otha out when we are in need .

& the next thing is that ii am missing my FIANCE . Really lyke alort and ii can't wait for hym to come back to mii . I want to have all the old tymes of sadness and happiness we used to go thru all together . I want to be in hys arms , ii wanna feel hys warmness again .

II don't know who I wanna turn to telling them my feelings when I don't feel lyke wanting to trouble them as ii noe they have their own problems to solve and take care of . II wanna myt ma FFB darliing`! II MISS THEM TO THE CORE`!!! II wanna reunite with them lahs seii .

& guys ehks .PLEASE lahs can .? STOP TOYING with gals heart . They are nort toys okehs .? Eu don wanna get hurt but euu hurt them . What the hell .?! Everyone have feelings . Everyone have their own needs but always think of others . Try putting urself in their shoes . Try being them . Hais . I am so pissed off lahs . I just wanna be alone . Leave me alone . Btw just now ii saw ZEE again . Hehe`!

II met up with Mirot today and she really look cute lahs seii .((:

Seriously MIROT .,if euu are reading this .,ii can't wait to see euu in DRESS .

Euu are so gonna look so CHARMING . Really .((:

Kay peeps . Gotta go now .

Take care yawww`!

Loads of hugs n kisses ,
DilemmaSTAR*

[[-???-]]

2007-12-11T23:21:00.000+08:00

II went t0 Sheng Siong today with Mama n Apan n we had loads of fun lahs seii . Grocery shopping .(: It's been awhile since ii last went out for grocery shopping .

Didn't buy alot of stuffs this time .I am so proud of euu mama `! Coz that meant ii don't need to carry that much load .(: Ahaks .Ohwell ,bumped onto ma adek angkat with ZEE . II miss ma ex-Kranjians so much lahs seii . Everyone changed and all change for the betta n ii am so glad everyone look prettier than ever`!(:

Jealous lahs seii . II am nort even prettay lahs .Ahaks .`! Btw ii donno wart ii wanna update . See euu arnd kays .

Tag mii .((:

[[-everything changed-]]

2007-11-29T08:44:00.000+08:00

Questions and decisions kept on mingling in my mynd ,thinking what is the best solution I can get into .I cannot force myself to make the wrong decision and satisfy others but not mi .That is being unfair to mi.

I've been thinking thoroughly about mi and ma fiance's problems until my head hurt and everytyme ii tried making a decision , i ended up crying . I noe and he noes that we really love each other but do we really meant for each other .? CHANCES .That has been awhile since people kept on telling mii but hey , I have my own lyfe to lead .Hys secrets nort yet revealed to my parents and if one day they got to noe ,imagine how am ii supposed to answer to them .?

The next tyng is that my feelings towards hym is drifting apart slowly .I tried to wait ,i tried to be patient but he's never been there for mii all those tymes when I nyd hym the most .

Also , I've been convincing myself that he is,infact the one for me .But after the letter I received from hym the other tyme ,imagine the anger ii felt .He's being egoistic for goodness sake .I've been seeing alot of things around here and it is pathetically being handled by me alone and no one else . People may know my problem but they do not noe the hardship and the struggleness .

I need someone who can help mii throughout this period of tyme and understands me .

That is all ii want.

[[-...-]]

2007-11-26T01:15:00.000+08:00

A part of me doesn't know and understand why I am in this kind of situation.Sometimes,in fact most of the tyme ii feel that lyfe is being unfair .I just wanna have the tyme to get away fro mall the problems eu see .Hais. Btw,today ii went out with mama to Kak Ani's house at BoonLay .We then went to Boon Lay shopping Center and we walked around .It seems that most of the things has changed and it doesn't look fascinating lyke it used to be when I was younger .

I miss my childhood period and I used to that particular shopping center when I was younger . It was one of the best shpping paradise I knew and the best market place I've ever stepped on to .But everything changed completely kyke just a split second . I am now at the age of eighteen and stepping into that place felt awkward ,with the building looked down and almost fell apart .Maybe I am grown up since 6 years old to somewhere with what people see as a funky and new shopping paradise which is Lot 1 . I noe I am being unfair looking at that kind of place in a negative way but I can't help it .I just felt that way .

Sometymes I am surprised how fast tymes flew by ,leaviing mii with alot of memories I can't barely remember most of them . I've grown up from a little girl to someone who now noe and understands what relationship all about and how important family is important to me .

ENOUGH .

2007-11-21T10:46:00.000+08:00

SERI MIRDAWATI .

I'm trying hard not to hate eu but eu made mii do dys .Y are eu being lyke dys .?
Wat do eu get by hurting ur OWN fren's feeling nad going out wyf LOADS of guys n let them get what they want .?Have eu ever thought what guys really want from eu ? Have eu eva tynk out the risks eu may get when eu gave them wateva they want .?

WAT IS WRONG wyf eu Seri .? And now the latest tyng is that eu were the cause of ur own friend's relationship to fall apart ! And eu still have the cheek to contact the guy ehks .? FLIRT somemore .Wat is all dys .?Eu have once dyd dys to my relationship and now others .? Do eu feel happy by doing this .? And the cause of their break up is so OBVIOUS .Eu backstabbed her from behind . Gawd . Where is ur dignity gal .?

[[ Those Treasured Tymes ]]

2007-11-04T14:31:00.000+08:00

've decided that I wanna spend all my tyme alone rather than goiing out without doing anytyng n get home late . I'm sick and tired of doiing it all the tyme .And ma mom ehs,she doenst even understand mii even one tiny bit, which is freaking unfair lahs .

I really don't know what am I to do now seyy. I've been haunted by my own mistakes in the past . Really .

I really don't know wat to do now .

Hehes .

[[-& ii am so miisiing this-]]

2007-10-29T22:49:00.000+08:00

TRULY sorry for nort blogging in for quite a moment .I am too busy with the outside activities until I do not have the tyme for the computer and blogging . Things have slightly change but I am okay now .

I worked last Saturday as a banquet at Ruplublic Of Yacht's Club .Job being introduced by my own brother and the tyng was I worked alone . Sadly, my members thought that I was joking about working dere especially Iqbal and gang . I am so utterly sad ,can.?But whatever it was ,I am so freaking glad I got to work there because I saw my dearest TAUFIK BATISAH dere lahs seii. And he was so GORGEOUS .`!

I am not the same me now .I wanna be left all alone lahs .Infact ,I am feeling so isolated lahs .I donno why . Is it juz my intuition .?I myself don't even noe . To my dearest darliings who I always hang out with,I am making this decision to leave because I am a bit distracted now.I don't even noe who I really am now .

Felt lyke running away from all the reality but the truth is that I am too confused .

[[-Say hello to the gal that ii am-]]

2007-10-09T19:22:00.000+08:00

Another 5 days to go til its Aidilfitri and I think this year my preparation so far is much better then the past years.It's going to be different without hym but as ii've promised my dearest Amy that he would be the one exchanged since Wan is not here to celebrate with mii.But I tynk that my family this year is nort at all united together especially Amin.He've been telling us that he is busy but what the heck .?I'm busy too.Everyone is busy but at least please lah contribute sey.

This is what people say,"Puasa tknk,raye nak".My mom's not that busy this year with her sewing.She can now at leastrest awhile rather than spending the 4/5 tyme in her sewiing room which I do pity her at tymes.And I do help out okehs .?

But,I can't believe this.This year is the very first time I baked the cookies myself,with the help of no one except me`!I am so proud of myself,I can say.=)I'm really busy this year sey.The thing is,I'm still miissing hym though I've been keeping myself with the chores and hanging out with my friends.Maybe the fact is that my heart do really belongs to hym .

And,I can't wait to celebrate my Hari Raya with my dearest friends.=) This year I wanna celebrate it with my dearest 5ffb and my ITE friends.I love euu somuchies.

Hugs and Kisses.=)

The Lucky Number 1.

2007-09-27T17:55:00.001+08:00

Today is perhaps the lucky nmber 1 coz it seems that dys is my 100th posts since last year.And I am very proud of it.Today is also the first year anniversary of my relationship with my dearest fiance,Irwan Bin Jaafar...I miss hym badly now.Really.I kept thinking about all the pasts we had togehter,how much I hated hym during the first sight n nowing hym as a matrep...And those tymes our love blossomed.I really treasured hym in my hart although sometymes I noe I've done alot of wrongdoings to hym.I wanna start afresh sey.

I can't believe my relationship could be this long coz I don't believe in myself either.Oh well.Anyway I am still waiting for the addresses sey people.How am I supposed to send when I don't know ur addresses? Ramadhan had been fine for mii so far.Been lepakking wyf my Dilemmas.So cool.And the outing to Geylang the other day was super cool lahs except super hot too.Packed.

And Iqbal has been sucha baybee.Ouuh.Babal is ma baybee okehs.Hehe.And I've started playing wyf the fire crackers tooh`! Together wyf my Dilemmas`! Super fun lahs.I imagined I was 10 years younger.How i wish my dearest FFB can go out n have a break fast together seyy.I miss those tymes really.

Anyway here i stop yaww..I juz wanna seal everytyng in my hart now.

Love eu peeps.

[[-`the steps that ii took-`]]

2007-09-22T16:53:00.000+08:00

My mind mingled with thoughts.Extremely distracted with alot of things.And I need to free myself from all this problems.I don't know why but sometimes I juz wanna cry out loud thinking of whatever is going to be the outcome of all the things that I've done all this while and what I am going to take to the next steps.

My family has provided me with alot of supports,too much that I could not ask for more.They have been truly supportive,yes they are and they are such a wonderful people.Ouuuh.How much I love them.=)

Simply thinking if whatever I am doing now is the right steps or nort or is it juz bringing mii into much troubles.?I donno and I am confused.

Whatever it is I juz wanna be appreciated by many.I don wanna be looked down yaww.

Today I am going to break my fast at Cik Tati's house and I am so nort looking forward for that.Really.

Haiz.

[[hatred]]

2007-09-19T14:31:00.000+08:00

Ok, let me start wyf ma irritation.Apparently,ma friendster n msn account was deleted by some ARSEHOLE. I believe in karma okehs.? I hope that person will get the punishment soon.Hmph.Depression bastard.Dammit.He ruined my life.So to those people who are reading dys...,please add mii up in my new msn account n friendster account okehs.? Dilemmastar.su89@hotmail.com...Thanks yaww.

The second thing is that I can't wait to go terawih wyf Nur Azieani. Bila mau g babe.? Hehehe`! N yerps.,ii am sick today.Feeling drowsy yawww.Past few days I've been lepaking wyf Iqbal,Galvin n ofcourse...,Ayu.At least it's betta den staying at home yawww.I'm also helping my mom this holiday to keep the house spick and span.=)

I donno wat else ii wanna elaborate more tho.Anyway...,ii received a letter from hym!....

N yeah...to dys ppl...Please send mii a sms of ur addresses...Home yaw.

.:.Nur Azieani Bte Arifin.:.
.:.Siti Hajar Othman.:.
.:.Nur Afiqah Bte Abd Rahman.:.
.:.Nur Shahamirah Razali.:.
.:.Seri Mirdawati Zainal.:.
.:.Sakina.:.
.:.NAS!!!!.:.

Thanks.! Please send mii before the 21st!!! Thanks!

Lotsa Love...,
DilemmaSTAR

[[`2nd day of Ramadhan`]]

2007-09-14T06:07:00.000+08:00

The month of Ramadhan is here so I am now fastiing lahs.I'm simply bored afta ii sahur...Haiiiz...

Simply thinkiing of hym now.Yesterday in Islam's calenderit as been a year since we were together.=) Alhamdulillah.I am so happy.And glad.But sad tooh.Coz he isn't here to celebrate it wyf mii lyke last year.I don't even noe if I can celebrate the Aidilfitri wyf hym dys year.=(

Went to myt Ayu yesterday n the both of us fetched our siblings together.=)Heesh`! And I cooked yesterday lahs seii.=D

Talking about hym.I really do miss hym pretty much n nothing can replace the love i eva had for ma dearest irwan.Tho I do admit that sometymes I can't accept the fact that he had been playing behind ma back...,I can't also deny that I really treasure hym n ii am afraid of losing hym.I've neva felt dys way before seriously.I regretted doing all the bad tyngs to hym.I just wanna let hym feel how he made mii suffer those tymes.I felt lyke crying sometymes but I feel that ma tears could no longer spill.

I've neva thought that the relationshyp ii had wyf hym will turn out dys far when the actual fact was that I wasn't actually accepting hym in ma lyfe last tyme.I juz wanna hurt hym.Lyke how he used to hurt otha gals.

It turned out that hatred turned to love and that the love I had will always be cherised no matter wart in ma hart n soul.

I love eu ma beloved FIANCE Irwan Bin Jaafar...

I love eu.

Lotsa Love...,

Dilemmastar

[[-gals day outt.-]]

2007-09-09T08:50:00.000+08:00

Went to Geylang yesterday wyf Ayu...=) N it was super duper fun!It's the very ferz tyme ii went to see the launchiing of the lights for Aidilfitri dere n ii enjoyed the moment to the very bits...=) Weee~! I neva tot that we are so gonna enjoyed the day as much as we could.N the place made mii remembered Wan so much especially wen ii started walkiing around the places we used to go.

N the show we watched were fun tooh! N dere were Mamat Exists...,and alort of artists performiing...til mii n Ayu danced at the back siia! N a cute gal by the name of Shazha caught ma eyes.Veryyyy cute.Make mii wanna have a baby soon!Wee~!

I juz loved the day yesterday lahs!

=))

ii hate ma hp lahs seii

2007-09-04T22:33:00.000+08:00

Hate it to the core.Really.I've been really takiing care of iit n now ii am cryiing over it.It gets really hard now wyfout iit n the most important tyng is that ii really nyd it especially in my daily lives now.Seriously...,I am beginning to depend on it seyy.It's lyke a part of my lyfe seyy.My handphone that is.

To those people who is readiing dys...,if eu nyd to contact mii pandai2 lahs ehks.

Btw juz now we had a test lahs seii.N the tyng is...it's freakiing difficult lahs!Hated it to the core.Amos checked the very first page of my test paper n said that 6 out of 7 questions were wrong.What the heck.That was the most pathetic tyng now.

N to some people lyfe have to move on tho it's hard to do so.Lyke mii.I've decided that aftar ma fiance is outta of dere...,ii am so gonna have a SERIOUS talk abt us.About our family.Haiz.

Anyway...,I really donno wart to blog yawww...N wanna say tt THE ARMY OPEN HOUSE was super duper freako fun lahs seii!

[[-Juz imagine-]]

2007-08-30T19:32:00.000+08:00

This is a msg to ma dearest FFB.I am goiing tomorrow okehs.I will contact eu GUYZ tonyte.

[[-And.So.?-]]

2007-08-25T16:35:00.000+08:00

I am begiiniing to get much much worried coz iit seems that ma exam is aound the corner.The tyng is that...,too bad.,ii haven't even prepared for it YET.The good thing is that it is an online exam for the subject Engineering Essentials.
The paper starts at 3 n end at 4....Wyc is one of the best tyng lahs.!=)

Being in ITE is nort a bad tyng either and nort STUPID people go there okehs.?Don get it wrong.We are still the same standard as eu people okehs.Btw ii am invited to Hafiz's pit on 1st Sept.Couldn't wait to go lahs seii.

Heesh.Missing ma x-classmates yaww.And ii am wonderiing if ma babes are going back to Kranji on the 31st..Hmmm.Babes.,if eu are readiing ma bloggiie.,care to update mii if eu people are coming or nort...?Hehehe.Looking forward to myt them sey.Anyway.,I received HYS letter! I am so elated okehs.Too bad he doesn't noe wart has been going on ryte now outside.He told mii that I am able to visit hym next month wyc is approximately 30 daez tuuh go.And the fasting month is around the corner.

Preparation tuhh dys.,ii am nort so sure.But the tyng is I can't wait to go Geylang during that period which coincidentally nearby my skool.! Hooray.Matilah.,hari2 lahs aku alek mlm!!!! Hehehehe.I havent really decided wart ii wann awear for the Raya coz ii don feel lyke celebrating it sey.!

I really donno when he is released.Haiz.i nyd hym sey so badly.I donno how am I supposed to describe the inner feelings sey.I juz nyd hym lahs seii.And I chatted wyf someone ii used to have a crush on back in Secondary school lyfe n now he kept on complimenting mii.Caiir lahs siiol aku!!!I miss ma mly lahs!

heeehs.Toobad in ITE there are no Mother Tongue! wakaka.If dere is...,ii don tynk ii will eva skip that lessons sey!!!Hehehehehe!

Okehslahs.Donno wart tuhh update seyy!

[[-Still cant put iit all behind-]]

2007-08-17T20:13:00.000+08:00

Went to school today..,all drenched.Hehs.Dammyt.Amin didnt go to werk today coz apparently he didnt see th0se w0rkers yesterday again today morning.I pitied hym but wat can ii do..?He gymmi a kol and was pissed off.It's nort ma fault sey.Hehs~!

Class was nort much interesting either.I didnt focus in ma assignment as ii was too filled up wyf ma own problems.I tried to be normal today but instead ii endend up cryiing in the toilet when ii first reached skool.Usually ii can control maself but I tynk i've had enuf sey.I don't wanna suffer anymore.Y do ii have to face all dys alone sey...?Lepakiing wyf Iqbal atleast made mii happy.=)N yes...,thanks to Yan for accompanying mii buy those groceries at the BLUE market seyy.=) He'd been a great help.Thanks.=)

N I am so pissed off by dys guy who is trying to woo mii.Wth.Told hym countless of tymes tt ii won't able to accept hys love but ii doubt he understand wateva ii said.How pathetic.Still wanna go 4 mii.I am nort pretty and ii am FREAKING fat seyyy.Is he blind or wart..?!!!

N if eu are wondering y ii place the song here...,dys is the song tt has been makiing mii happy nowadez.The song tt Ari introduced to mii.So sweet of hym lahs seii.=)

N to AZIE. N SERI. Thanks 4 ur support n encouragement.=) Love eu babes.

Love eu too peeps.

[-being mii is neva easy.-]]

2007-08-15T19:31:00.000+08:00

Sometymes making decisions is neva perfect.I'm in such confusion now and ii really donno wart ii am gonna do now.The thing is that I wanna be myself but I can't.Without hym here by ma syde...,ii am no one.I am nothing to hys family except for Amy and Abang.I tynk hys mom is hating mii now.I donno y.I've no one to turn to.I have to kyp tyngs to myself.Sometymes I wanna be someone else.Be happy lyke how someone else does.No problems no nothing.I've been haviing problems...,one came after another.

Now...,the latest news is that I am nort allowed to myt and go out wyf Amy anymore.No...,it's not Diana...,don't get me wrong.It is hys own mother.Can eu believe it..?Hys own mother!!!!Wat am ii to do now..?I noe lahs ii don really have the tyme to visit them tho ma skool is nearby.But wat the heck?Skool is tiring okehs.I don have tyme 4 maself sometymes infact.But y out blue I am nort allowed to myt Amy..?He is the only family member of hys wyc is close to mi.He was the one who ii relied on to when ii am facing problems.He is ma fren.,my brother.!!!And now I'm nort at all allowed to myt hym.So how am ii supposed to get updates on their family.?!

Is it ma fault.?! Wart dyd ii do.?!! I love IRWAN so ii noe ii have to click wyf hys family.If I am nort even well-liked by hys family,wat do ii have to do?I've been trying my best to uphold dys engagement although I've been hurt by her child.!I've been patiently waiting for hys return.Letting hym noe how much I love hym and how much he mean to mi?I'm suffering...,in ma heart.People may joke around wyf mii but deep down...,do they even understand the pain and confusion I am going through.Excuse mii...,ma own MOM doesnt even undastand mi.Wat else others.?If I am nort patient...,do eu tynk ii even bother to wait 4 hym...?

To mak.

Andai pernah sesekali Su sakitkan hati Mak...,Su pohon maaf.Su betul2 tk fhm...,kenape sey Su tk bole jmp Amy lagi..?Ape slh Su...?Su takde niat ape2 pon...Su anggap Amy kawan Su.Dia lah yg selalu buat Su gembire sejak Wan tkde.Kalau lah Su yg sakitkan hati Mak...,tegurlah Su.Kadang2 Su tktau.Kalau Su dibenci Mak...,kenape...?Su terlalu sygkan Wan...Su da bnyk menderite sejak Wan tkde.Ape maksud semua nii.?Su tidak pernah ade niat langsung untuk sakitkan hati Mak.Selama ini Su da berupaya utk mengeratkan pertalian keluarge kite.Su da bnyk bersabar Mak.Su perempuan.Su tahu dimana letaknye kedudukan Su.Mak...,ini kah salah satu dugaan yg harus Su tempuh...?Mak...,andai Mak bencikan Su...beritahu lah Su.Agar Su pergi dan tidak ganggu Wan lagi.Kalau Mak temukan jodoh untuk Wan yg lebih baik dari Su...,Su izinkan Wan pergi.

II donno wart to do now.I juz wanna be left all ALONE.

-Decision-

2007-08-14T15:20:00.000+08:00

Ii have tuuh make up ma mynd FAST. II nyd tuuh choose between hym n hym.! Argh.Lyfe is alwaez tooh complicated.I hate iit wen iit turns out dys way.I love hym.N ii love the otha HYM.Wart am ii supposed tuuh do..?! Can some0ne help mii please!!!!

Hehs.And ii am simply duperly BORED now...II donno wart tuuh do.II wanna juz be far off from here lahs seii.Hehes.Okehs.2dae is the 2nd dae ii am goiing hom late lahs seii.

N Kin didnt turn up for skool todae.TT gal kan kan kan...?!! Ahahahahaks. Nebehmynd lahhs...Eh seriously lahs kan..

hehs.II am so so so so bored.Someone help mii get out of dys SUFFERING!!

Love euu peeps.Mau log off dehhh.

SURPISED.

2007-08-12T14:08:00.000+08:00

II am so freakiingly surprised lahs yesterday when ii got a call from someone!!! The person tt ii neva expect to call at dys tyme of point. The guy tt ii really missed so much.Undescribable.Enthusiastic.

I've been sleepiing...,eatiing n sleeping again from Friday.Donno y lahs.How pathetic.I've been living lyke a PIG.Wahlau.

Skool is tmr n ii am so excited.I donwanna lie down on ma bed doiing nth so ii figured myb iits best if ii go to skool seyy.

N ii missed ma ffb so much as usual.IRWAN is comiing home soon.So happy.II am looking forward for the very day to come n ii hope he will be the same Irwan ii knew.

I love hym so much sey.But ii have to repend ma mistakes towards hym seyy.

Help mii out coz ii donno wat to do now.I juz wanna be the old mii.I am so looking forward for hym to hold mii n hug mii n kiss mii lyke how he used to do.

He means the world to mi.Thanks Princess for heariing mii tell eu all abt hym calliing mii. II miss telliing eu the latest news abt mii.

II hope she is doing fyne wyf hym seyy.

Love euu peeps.Tag mii okehs.

.:.Confused.:.

2007-08-07T16:50:00.000+08:00

I am kinda elated now coz juz now ii saw MAK. II am now at MP.Wyf Reny n out of boredom...,ii decided to do smth lahs.Wyc is updatiing ma blog.II was so surprised to be able to bump into Mak juz now.N she updated mii news on Wan.II am glad that he is now ok...,n ii heard he is getting chubbier.Cool kan..?

Okehslahs...,ii am so bored lahs seii.Seriously...,dys few daez there are absolutely nothing intersting for mii to do whether in skool or outsyde.But apparently NAS,AYU AND YANA is enjoyiing the enjoyment of the "cucuk mii!!!!" game. Hehes.Atleast ii can forget all the problems ii am facing for awhile.I can neva lie to myself wyf the fact that I am missing hym so much.Myb ii am miissiing hym too much tt's all.Otha den tt...,II am so blanko now.Mak told mii that he wrote mii 4 letters and iit didnt even reached mii yet.Or its rejected.Mak was telliing mii to reply to all hys letters n ii juz cant.How am ii supposed to do that wen ii myself didnt get any of hys letters..?II miss hym so much now and ii really wanna shed tears here now if ii can.

Mixed feelings todae yaww.Ouuh.Seriously...,ii am so pissed off wyf some people lahs.Dammyt.II am at the computer cafe where mii and Wan used to frequently visit whenever ii came to hys place.This is the place where he told mii that he is going to DB.This is the place he properly introduced mii to hys mom n brothers.The place that mii and Wan chatted wyf ma cuzzin using the webcam.The place mii and Ima waited for Wan late at nyte while he went home to change.A really historic place.The place that I wont ever forget n neva be forgotten.This place brought back all the memories between mii and hym and iit is makiing mii cry.

II wont neva eva forget the tyme we spent together here IRWAN.Eu made mii smile...,eu made mii cry...But do ii have to leave eu now.?II nyd someone in ma lyfe to be here to protect mii to be there 4 mii.To lead mii through lyfe seyy....

II juz want my old lyfe back.Is it fair for mii to wait for eu when eu are repending ur mistakes.?Don ii deserve to be happy..?II am so jealous looking all around mii wyf all the couples and so on.Plz ii need to noe.II nyd someone.One dae if eu were released...,and ii've moved on..will eu still care to be ma fren..?Will eu be dere 4 mii...?

II cant control ma tears any longer.N ma hart is hurtiing.

[[-ii nyd HYM.-]]

2007-08-04T20:12:00.000+08:00

Seriously if eu ask mii..,ii donno wat ii wanna upload 4 todae.I am juz so blank!

Hehs.Listening to the song Gallery...,reminded mii of Seri lahs coz she is the one who introduced mii to the song a few months back. Hehs.N thanks 2 ARI...,he sent mii the song.Yaww.

II harts hym lahs.Okays,I am so bored now seriously not knowing wat to do yahhh.I am so b0red. BOREDOM is striking mii....!!!

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wahuahua.Yes AZIE.I MISS EUU tooh!!

[[Lets juz say..,i miss them lyke craziie.]]

2007-08-03T11:36:00.000+08:00

The only tyng ii noe now is that ii am miissing ma FFB n ma ex-5C's.They are the super duper best!!! Went to BB yesterday and ii couldnt made it to myt them.It was a golden opportunity actually to be able to myt them dere but I was the one who had otha plans.I am so pissed off wyf maself eu noe.

N yesterday I was freakingly elated lahs to myt ma PRINCESS.She was so sweet now n I felt as if I wanna cry siia seeing her.We hugged in the middle of ummm...nearby Lot 1 n people were looking. But wat the heck..?Who cares siia.?I mysh her more den anytyng else okehs.?=D N I am so longiing to go out wyf ma ffb again soon.I hope.All of them muz be dere okehs.

Especially IQAH lahs.She is the one who usually MIA.Hehs.N yesterday when she was dere it turned out to be me who couldnt make it.How unfair.

Hmph.Okeh.N i am missing that someone ryte now.

FFB.Lets reunite okehs.? Plz.I will makesure I will turn up now.

I went to skool late today lahs.WTH.I woke up late siia.So slenger mi.

Hehs.I LOVE EU PEOPLE!!!!

DILEMMASTARHEARTS

[[Juz as ma lyfe is startinng.]]

2007-08-02T09:45:00.000+08:00

I've done alort of mistakes in lyfe and ii feel tt dys is the tyme for mii to amend all of that.Ma mom is beginning to hate mi.AGAIN.It is all back to square 1.I am juz a normal person.Don't she geddyt.?

I wanna run away from all dys and at the moment let me tynk of the way to amend all the tyngs tt once made mi happy.No one might understand wat i am trying to imply but wat the heck.It's my problem afterall.

I am gonna fynd the solution.And i am glad to hear that Wan has posted a letter to hys family.I understand that he cannot write letters to mi but i juz wanna noe wat he wrote in it.Amy was telling me tt he donno.Tt is so RIDICULOUS siia.Darn.

Right now i am not in the mood for anything.Argh.Hehs.

Ari.Ari.Hehs.

[[JUZ THE WAE II AM.]]

2007-07-26T23:32:00.000+08:00

I am getting agitated now.Waiting 4 the arrival of the next dae..=) Cant wait to go to ECP n chill out. Ouuh.The last tyme ii eva stepped that place was wyf ma FFB.

N Saturady.Weehee.We are all going out to watch The Simpson's Movie.Woohoo.II donno who are going lahs. But I am so looking forward 4 it coz it has been a long tyme since I last stepped into the cinema. WYF ma dearez frenz sumore.=)

Hmmm.Skool sux today. Daniel showed us our attendance n I am so glad that ma attendance are okay.=) Far from being debarred. Woohoo. N Jee Yen was all the wae calling ma name sey. Irritating sia. I donno wart the hell SHE wanted from mi siia.

N the damn tyng was that I saw that BLARDY ex of mine again.Darn.Hate hym lahs.

Nas disturbed mi all the wae siia in claz.Wahlau.=(

N Yana n Ayu continued their mission to disturb mii all the wae back home.

In all.,II have mixed feeling about today.=)

N ARI.Eu noe wart ii feel abt eu.=D

[[being in love is lyke having pains.]]

2007-07-25T10:45:00.000+08:00

Ouuh.Countiing months days n minutes...,sometymes I wondered when will it be the day he went out of that awful place and reunited wyf hys family..?N mi.

II do agree sometymes I tried to forget hym but looking around mii,the places we usually frequented to when he was wyf mii brought back the memories the both of us had together.I tried to focus myself wyf my friends and school.But what the heck...,sometymes it doesnt even w0rk out well.What the heck.Sometymes I feel lyke screaming.The to pof my lungs and let everyone lidten to the pain I am suffering now.

Oh well.,yesterday Lisa called mii up and asked mii if ii am free dys Saturday tuuh catch a movie.I am free of coz.,but I have to ask the rest of the FFB too.=)

I hope they agree.Yana went to my place yesterday and browsed through the net.=)Speaking of her..,she went to fetch mii all the way from her school to my school the other day.Yay.

And now I am so clueless what to type out lahs.So perhaps dys is where I should stop 4 now.Update laters.

So peeps.Tags plz.=)

Love eu loads lahs all. Okehs.?

Mwarks.

Lotsa Love...,

Dilemmastar

[[Tiring.Fun.]]

2007-07-22T13:20:00.000+08:00

Okays.Yesterday went for the FUN ON FOOT competition n iit was less fun but much more tiring than ii eva expected.Who the hell mentioned tt the game is only around the raffles n cityhall area sey...?It was all ****.Hehs.But...,instead of going in 4 per group..,we all went the whole class.Atleast we bonded.Yaw.Tiriing.Seriously.Felt lyke juz simply faint dere.Hehs.Especially when we walked all the wae from Geylang tuuh somewhere in Aljunied to the Badminton Association or somthing.Someone somehow mentioned that it is nearby so we decided to walk.In the rain.Everyone was drenched but tired.Kin was...,however very supporting.She jogged.I admired her attitude.Yaww.=)

N Kumar and Ermie was the best team mates i eva saw that dae.Although there were only the two of them.,afta Jackie backed off the slightest minute...,they still did their best to fynd the answers to the questions.How sweet.Sometymes even provide us wyf the answers some more.=)

Oh ya..,thanks to Seri for helping mii browse thru the net for some unknown answers.Eu were a great help gal.=)

N thanks tuuh Princess Azie for the support yaww.Hehes.II am sick todae.Coughing n ii have running nose.To ma 5ffb...,when will it be the dae we goes out together again..?

II miss eu peeps badly.MIROT.Knape sey benci aku.?Sob*!

Not forgetting yesterday nyte...,we all hung out at the Esplanade tuuh watch the firewerks.Cool tho.Hehes.N ii am looking forward 4 more class outing n even the 5ffb outiing.Hehehs.

Love eu peeps.

Mwarks!!!!

Signing off.,
DilemmastarHEARTSeu

[[Super FUN,can.?]]

2007-07-21T00:09:00.000+08:00

Okehs.Ii tynk ii had fun today goiing out wyf Amy n Yana. Hehs.We made alort of noise and we laughed too much till we can't laugh no longer.N Ari juz joined in the conversation although he was stuck at home. It is lucky the Abraham invented the telephone.=) Hehs.

Okaylahs...II was pathetically fed up of waiting 4 dys someone at the control station from 12pm-2!Omg.That was the 2nd tyme ii had tuuh wait 4 tt gal tt long.I was so pissed off til I almoz gyv up lahs sei.

I really miss ma 5ffb.Haiz.II want the old lyfe back.I want to be in Kranji once again wyf all ma besties.Remembered the tymes we went spent in skool...,in the canteen and classrooms.Those tymes we spent the tymes painting the classroom.?And those tymes we waited 4 each otha to go home..?

I really do.Not tt ii don lyke ma new clazmates but the atmosphere is different.=@

But hey...,ii so harts ma TEAM lahs sei.Can.?The ANYTHING.!Yaww.

And tmr is the dae we have tuuh do the real FUN ON FOOT activity.I juz hope we would bond better when we are dere tho winning the prize do come across our mynd.N ii noe we will do the best 4 tmr.

Okayslahs.

Btw special thanks tuuh ma dearez Princess Azie 4 helpiing mii out,=)

Ii harts eu peeps.

Feel free tuuh tag okehs .

N yeah.ii miss tt guy.Ouwch.

Dilemmastar Hearts Eu.

[[okays.bored.]]

2007-07-18T21:51:00.000+08:00

went to skool late todae.Wyf Kin.Hehs.=)N turned out tt we didnt even go tuuh class tho went to the canteen 4 our lunch.Wakaka.Rabak siiol.

Den met up wyf ma Dilemmas'.II hart eu lahs.N Jannah tuuh.=)

Den met up wyf Hajar bringing Ayu n her fren along.Hajar...,sowie horr.II cant stay long.=((

Hehes.
Juz update here lahs okays.=)

[[ii cant believe tt skool is startiing in approx..]]

2007-07-16T01:54:00.000+08:00

Look at the blardy tyme now!!!It is umm lyke 0155hr and ii am still wide awake now!WTH.?!Okehs.Dys iis really bad really..Ummm...Dys muz be tt ma BATTERY is fully charged by now since in the afternoon ii had a GOOD nap n now turned out to be WIDE awake.

Okays.Ari promised mii to wake mii up later at 0530hrs...So ii do hope tt he really wake mii up lahs or else ii am gonna be late to go to skool yaww.II hate maself now.II am apparently stuffing maself wyf FOOD n ii am getting FATTER.Chubby.Ow.

I do hope Kin will go to skool tmr okehs.II truly miiss her oreadi.Owaez neva go to skool.Wahlau.Wat is wrong oso II donno siia.Hehs.

Okays lahs.II tynk dys is all ii wanna update coz ma mynd is blank.I am haviing abad flu n cough.Kept on coughiing.Donno y.hehs.II got anew COMPUTER lahs sei. How ii wissh ii have A LAPTOP.Boohoo.Wait long2 lahs SULASTRIE.

Oh yeah.II am glad we went out the otha dae ma CHEAPOS.Come cam-whore in Esplanade again..Can..?=)

The new style meditation.

And ii tynk we are sort of ready 4 the fun on foot.,ryte,ANYTHING..?;)

[[Jealousy+Hurt]]

2007-07-14T21:11:00.000+08:00

II am so freakiing JEALOUS lahs can...?Wyf ma own Mom.Hehs.She got a new phone n iit is the phone tt ii've alwaez wanted badly.Eat the heck.?Hmmmph.

Aleeeermak.Y lyke tt..?Hmm...Oh well.Hehs.Okays.II am so bored now.Wat should ii blog yaww.?First tyng ferz.II went t0 ma aunt's place juz now in the afternoon n ii had tuuh babysiit ma cousins.Hehs.How interesting can tt be..?Woohoo.

Hmmm.Sometymes ii ask maself wat should ii do wyf ma lyfe.Should ii weep n tynk about the past or should ii juz move on as per normal..?But ii am nort the old mii.II am nort happy down insyde.It isn't fair because ii don't want to let others noe tt ii am nort as strong as others.Hehs.

Seriously.Hmm.

Wateva lahs.Okays.Hehs.

[[okays.ii update.(:]]

2007-07-13T17:16:00.000+08:00

& s0 ii noe ii've not been updatiing ma blog 4 quite s0metyme.Cannot be blamed coz ii am truly bz lahs.Skool n stuff.Hehs.Okays.Had a gr8 skool reopeniing.N yeah.Hmmm.How ii hated the ferz dae of skool coz the CLASS spirit is no longer dere.Hehs.Alort of ppl didnt turn up.KIN also lahs.

Wth.Hehs.Okays.But ii really had fun on Wednesday th0.The dae ii went to Esplanade wyf Kin,Nas and Leng.It was super duper fun,cn..?N ii tynk we are ready 4 the FUN ON FOOT thingy.Yaww.Singapore.Look out 4 us hehs...!!=))

[[juz.the.thought.of.eu.make.mii.sick.]]

2007-07-02T22:10:00.000+08:00

The otha dae ii got a kol from Aim the guy who once hurt ma feelings.Hehes.

But the moment came by when suddenly he sound mii bk n ii was utterly stunned.He wants mii bk..?WTH.Tt is impossible.He moved on and so do ii.

Hmm.This is killing mii coz ii really donno wart ii wanna type out todae coz apparently...,ii am crazyy todae.

hehs.

Til here.

II harts eu ppl.

[[ii.hat.ma.self.]]

2007-06-26T13:57:00.000+08:00

mane sey ma hp..?ii lost iit.siian ouhs.Mane niie.?Padahal td ade kat sbela...!!

Fuck lahs.II am so pissed off wyf maself...D0n tell mii papa took iit siia!!!

[[and.so.the.story.goes.]]

2007-06-23T00:08:00.000+08:00

Ohokays.ii went to SENTOSA lahs dey.Hehes.II miissed ma clazmates oreadii lahs.=))They are lyke so cool...,cn..?Nort really lahs at the 1st place...We went to the Palawan Beach n minded our own business actually but then we at least got to see each otha lahs.So cool lahs.,can.?N we got our class jerseys.=D Cool!!!

Reached Palawan Beach around 2...N afta changiing n lil' chitchattiings here n dere...,mii,Kin,Leng,Nadia and Nas headed straight to the seasyde lahs.=))

N yes...Nadia DIVED into the sea!!!=))hehs.N the whole dae was pure fun-ness.=)Tho some of us were playiing wyf cards,beach volleyballs n yes...,swimming...,we managed to kyp up updates of each otha.

N Didi came lahs seii.So great.=D Ouuh.We cam-whorriing ehks.So cool!!II had much laughters lahs todae tiil ii don tynk ii can laugh much no longer lahs sei.

Thanks to ma dearez CHEAPONAKIN for uploadiing those pics to mii.=))

II harts eu lahs sei.So Leng uhs.,QUICK!Upload lahs!!!

hehs

Til here peeps.

ii wanna rest now.

Nyte!!!

[[Swimming.]]

2007-06-21T16:52:00.000+08:00

Ouuh.II cant believe wart ii juz dyd.II brought Apan to th cck swimming complex yesterdae lahs sei.Ended up.Haiz.Wart to do.Hehs.Btw.I was shocked todae coz ii received a call from Fairuz lahs sei.After all dys 3 years lahs.She called mii bk.II was excited.Hehs.

II don wanna update much coz ii am ready to go to the shop to buy tyngs.Hehs.

So yeah.II cant wait 4 tmr lahs sei.

SENTOSA.Here ii come.!

[[ii donno wart to do lahs seii.]]

2007-06-20T10:48:00.000+08:00

ii am really miisiing hym now lahs sei.II donno wart to do except to pray for hys wellness there.II donno where ii am leadiing to now n ii am juz tynkiing if ii should bring Apan out todae.Hehs.Tt boi.It's nort tt i don wanna bring hym out but the tyng is that iit is neva easy.He will whine n cry when he didn't get whateva he wants and tt will ruin ma dae.It's nort about chances but the fact is that iis difficult to bring tt rascal out.

II noe he is having hys holidae now but wart the heck?II don wanna waste ma tyme outsyde scoldiing hym n makiing maself embarrassed todae...Oh no wae.Definately no wae.II'd rather go out alone wyfout anyone next to mii rather than having hym next to mii n makiing mii utterly piissed off.Hehs.

So wart if ii am nort a gd systa..?Ii tynk ma pride is much important.Hehs.

So yeah.II don tynk ii am briinging hym out todae.When will skool start?

[[~ii wiish he is here.~]]

2007-06-19T09:09:00.000+08:00

Typing all dys out ii am tynkiing about hym.II am nort weariing any engagement ring now and ii refused to.II threw iit down on the floor yesterdae n mama picked it up.Since then...,ii didn't bother to ask her back for iit.Ma parents found out the secret of mii n they beat mii up.So dyd Amin.He punched ma face.Sedaaap lahs siiol.Setan.II don wanna live here anymore lahs sei.II am so sick n tired of living dys wae.II don have a good background details to start off wyf and ii how ii wished yesterdae anione of them would juz picked up a knife n kill mi.

II donwanna live ma lyfe dys wae anymore.II am so sick n tired lahs.N ii am so wishiing that the skool will start soon coz ii don wanna live here n be crazy.II wanna go back to skool nomatter wart.Aniwaez regarding the Sentosa outing dys Fridae where the hell am ii gonna fynd $10 the least...?II am so devastated lahs sei.Mama have no money n papa havent even start werkiing wart more he havent gotten hys monthly pay.

Hehs.

Yeah,till here ii blog.N Hey ii miiss ma Cheapos n 5ffb lahs.Tag mii uhs.Hehs.

Love eu peeps.

[[-pure.boredom.-]]

2007-06-13T17:10:00.000+08:00

Hehs.So ii am sitting ryte infront of the comp tynkiing wart ii am abt to do next afta blogging.Yeah.ii bored n ii tynk ii can die becoz of iit siia.Hehs.That's so lame.

And skool gonna end lyke anotha 2 daez to go...Shyt.Y does iit feel long sey..?=((

Hmmm...So ii went to skool todae n yerps.II sat for Amos's test.II am so thankful iit was MULTIPLE choices.=D

II tot ii was extremely late for claz but the moment ma legs stepped into the room.,3/4 of ma clazmates havent even arrived yet.HOW pathetic can ii be siia...?

II was EXTREMELY thirsty but when ii tot that the test would start at 9.30am...,ii decided nort to make ma wae to the canteen n rushed up to class a.s.a.p.IIf ii would have known.=$

Hesssh..II miss Kin lah seii..She havent reach class yet when ii arrived,did the test and most pathetically when ii went home..

Dyd she even make her wae to skool 4 goodness sake..?

Hehes.

So yeah..ii donno wart to blog lahs sey.

So ii stop here.

til den peeps.=))

ii love eu.

[[ii.am.tynking.of.hym.]]

2007-06-09T21:26:00.000+08:00

So yeah.II am bored now siia.Tynkiing of hym is the onlii tyng ii can do now coz iit seems tt ii am so myshiing hym so much.II am missing ma 5ffb too.Coz these people are everytyng to mii.

Oh gawd.Can't believe tt the skool holidaes isn't here 4 mii yet n ii am supposed to go to skool for anotha week more....Darn.Wart a chore.II juz can't wait 4 the break coz ii wanna relax...II don wanna spend ma tyme wakiing up early goiing to skool siia.Ahaks.But hey...,don get mii wrong.Skool iis great.Seriously...especially when ma clazz became a bunch of craziie people.=))

Ouuuh.It's juz tt ii am juz tired uhz...I wanna sleep long hours and wake up late lyke ii did before ii started skool.Haizz...Sometymes ii wish ii can turn back tyme to those tymes ii had in ma secondary skool lyfe...But it is now all over.It is no use crying over the spilled milk.Haiz...

II thought over wart Miss Fazlin talked about yesterdae during the visit to skool...We talked about ma engagement and wart she tynks of iit.Seriously ii agree to her...There are different aspects of lyfe tt ii can look forward to...,ii am still young and tynking positively...,ii nyd to tynk over n over again about the decisions ii made...Am ii making the wrong decisions..?I donno.But ii noe ii love hym.II really do coz he is the only guy who really shows that he loves mii n nort playing wyf ma hart...

ii am juz too confused now...ii wanna b wyf hym but at the same tyme ii wanna have ma freedom...=(

Ppl plz do help mii fynding the wae out.ii so love hym.

Hmmm.Aniiwae...,ii cant wait to go to skool dys MONDAY coz ii wanna myt up wyf ma CHEAPOs!!!Ouuh.II miss them so much,can..?

Hugs n kisses...,
DilemmastarHEARTSeuLOADS

[[a.dae.to.remember.]]

2007-06-08T21:50:00.000+08:00

ii am tynking now if ma decision of waiting 4 hym is the BEST choice at dys moment of tyme coz at dys point of tyme ii do feel lyke ii wanna gyv up waiting 4 hym.But ii do have to make the ryte choice as iit will infact affect ma future,whether ii lyke iit or nort.IIt is neva easy being mii who have to go thru all dys tyngs on ma own wyfout the support of hym.II nyd hym in ma lyfe.II nyd a man.

How ii hope ii could turn back the tyme and be wyf hym.Spending all every precious moments wyf hym...But iit will onlii come true ONE dae and ii donno when tt dae will eva come.

Aniwae..,Kin updated her bloggie.Wakaka.Finally huh.?Update bnyk2 babe!Nnt aku bace iyer...?Hmmm...wart should ii update n0w c0z ii am juz too cramped.Woke up late todae n as result...,ii didnt go to skool.How pathetic can ii be.Oh ma gawd...

Can't believe iit.This upcoming Wednesday.Amos class-COMMON TEST!!!!Darn!!!!Sian uh...ii didn't even bother to study siia.II am extremely PATHETIC.Ouh.II hope ii can manage yeah.Hmmm...Sunday will be the dae Ms Sha is getting hitched,lyke FINALLY.Kewl.Ma mom is going dere tmr whereas ii tynk ii am going dere on Sunday.Anyone fancy goiing wyf mii..?=)) Beep mii coz ii will be alone yeah.=(

So yeah.Til here ii will update ma entry.Hmmm...II am so beginning to enjoy ma lessons now on.Wyf those crazii n fun clazmates of myne.0uh...ii am so beginning to HEARTS dem lahs,can..?

So yeah.Love eu peeps...Looking 4ward to 22nd June 2007.Kin don 4get.GO WYF MII LAH SEY!=D

Mwarks pplz.=))

DilemmastarHEARTSeu

[[ok.ii.so.love.MMT1Q.]]

2007-06-07T15:16:00.000+08:00

Latest update.Yes.II am so in love wyf ma claz.They are pretty cool eu noe.=))

II am so glad although ii used to lyke so hated the claz...Hehehe.=))

Ma claz are organising an outing to SENTOSA,can? So extremely kewl!!!

II can't wait..!!N ii am excited coz ii am bringing Amy along wyf mii...Yeah.

The purpose of the 0uting is to b0nd the wh0le claz t0gether n we are able to get to noe each otha betta so0n c0z we are surviving in the same claz 4 the nex 2 years t0gether...=))

N the exciting part is that the pe0ple wh0 0rganised the 0uting is Ermie N Kumar.S0 sweet 0f them...=))

Woah..ii tynk ii can definately survive in that clz.Especially wen ma CHEAPO's are dere...N thanks Kin(again) 4 saviing ma dae 0r ii would have slept in the skool...hehehe.!!!

[[ii.hate.tt.freakiing.GUY.]]

2007-06-07T08:20:00.000+08:00

2 daez bk,wen ii was otw 2 skool ii was feeliing freaky coz apparently a guy who introduced hymself as Arif went over to mii in the MRT n asked mii if he can get 2 n0e mii.Darn..II kept quiet n he was lyke...Yuck.The conversation went on lyke dys..

Hym:"Hello.Bole knl2?"
Mi:"Huh..?"
Hym:"I nk knl2 ngan eu.Bole tk?"
Mi:"Ummmm...knl2?Ummm...ntah la pulak kan."
Hym:"Name ii arif name eu sape...?"
Mi:"Su."
Hym:Oh.Tgl mane?"
Mi:"CCK."
Hym:"Oh...I pon tgl kat cck gak.Kat daerah yew tee."
Mi:"0h.ok."
Hym:"Ala syg...berbual la...I blanje eu mkn nk tk kat Mcdonalds ke.I ikhlas."
Mi:"Takpelah."
Hym:"Bole lah.Umor I 21tahun.Eu lak?"
Mi:"18."

N the list goes on.II was getting uncomfortable and ii couldnt wait to get off the train....I was hoping he would get outta ma wae but hell.II was WRONG.

he followed mii to Lot 1.He kept on trying to hold ma hands n kiss mi.FREAKO.

II was beiing a lil bit traumatised.Seriously.

Haiz.N yeah.He got ma contact no.2 let hym off.,i gave hym ma contact no.N he sent mii home.shyt.

Darn.SOMEONE PLEASE HELP MII!!!

[[ii.hate.guyz.who.fools.around.]]

2007-06-02T13:00:00.000+08:00

ii am so pissed off wyf some guyz who apparently juz making use of gals.Lyfe isn't fair.Yeah.0h well.ii am simplii bored siia.

Ohyes,.ii am so in l0ve wyf dys song...=)) Yeah.ii woke up early siia juz now in the morning...went out to myt Ayu unda ma void deck and we chill out til abt 11...=))

ii donno wart ii wanna blog siia todae coz ii noe tt no one is realli readiing iit.=))

Hmmm...in case KIN reads dys...,thanks 4 accompanying mii to Joo Chiat yesterdae...The weather was unbearable yesterdae...So fuming hot in the afternoon...

But wen ii reached CCk..,iit began to cool down n started raining super HEAVY siia.

Hmmm...ii siimplii donno wart to blog todae.ii love eu peeps.

N yes.ii still do love eu ma irwan bin jaafar.

N ma 5ffb too.=D

[[~pathetically insane dae~]]

2007-05-31T00:43:00.000+08:00

ii have nothing to blog here so ii am juz as crappy as ii can be. II was told that ma fiance would be in the remand centre 4 about 4months and that news really made mi go insane.How am ii supposed to be happy siia.II couldnt even celebrate the HARI RAYA this year wyf hym.

N ii made sucha stupid decision by getting into a 'relationship' wyf someone by the name of Engku.N ii am freakingly GUILTY now and ii really donno wart to do.

II am so sorry ma dearez Irwan bin Jaafar.II noe i've done somtyng wrong but ii am so nort serious wyf the relationship and ii am trying ma bez to get hym out of ma wae.II've alwaez loved ma boo n ii am nort gonna replace hym wyf someone else although ii noe ii can back out from our engagement.II don want tt 2 happened sey...

Enuf wyf the Syasya saga whereby ma lyfe was turned upsyde down n gone haywire.How could dys happen siia.

II couldnt imagine wart ii can do wen he is nolonger wyf mii...As promised ii shall wait up 4 hym throughout all dys hardship and ii will help hym out to build our relationship once again although from scratch.Coz ii noe he really love mii.II also noe that ma love 4 hym is still deep as can be.

II miss ma cheap0s...They are so fun an rowdy and caring at the same tyme.Met Cheaponaleng yesterdae 4 the exam n we lepaks at our secret place.=))

The test was ok though coz Amos heped us out.Wo0hoo.Wa caya sama lu uh Amos.+))

II miss ma 5ffb too.

okla.dys iis enuf 4 2dae coz ii really am short of idea wart else ii should update iinn here.=))

[[~Ma outiing wyf the 5ffb yesterdae was tremendously cool~]]

2007-05-28T16:32:00.000+08:00

Woohoo....=)

Yesterdae ii celebrated Princess Azie's bdae at ma place...=)

ii was so happy coz the 5ffb...ummm..not realli...was there...=))

Iqah wasnt at ma place so we decided to go over at her place.Kewl huh...??

Finally.II missed her loike so freakiingly much siia.

It has been MONTHS siince ii last saw her.Imagine tt!!!Months siia.

Hehe.

Hmm...0hk la...ii decided to stop here coz ii am lyke so freakiingly blank now.

[[ii.am.juz.miissiing.HYM.badlii.]]

2007-05-25T08:39:00.000+08:00

II am nort well.ii can't stop tynking wat he is doiing now. ii am so miissiing hym n i couldnt stop tynking of hym all day long. II was lyke so pissed off.why must all dys happened to mii..?

Sometymes ii am angry wyf maself 4 myting hym at the from the beginning.ii shouldnt have even met hym yeah.argh.

ii remembered the ferz myting wyf hym wyc ii tot iit was definatelii craziie.

haiiz.Let mii recall...

ii met hym the ferz tyme on 10th october 2006 wyc was coincidentally was the fastiing period. II met hym the 14th dae we were attached. We got to noe each otha from June ii tynk and we started to chat wyf each otha mid of september wen at tt period of tyme ii was attached wyf a guy named HAFIZ. N ii tynk he,too was attached wyf a gal.Myb Diana ii tynk.Hmmm..hehe.We decided to meet on 10th October. II was scared coz we hadnt met hym at ALL.N ii hasn't met hym.Even looked at hys face BEFORE when he at least has seen ma pic before.Wateva.

We met at the last cabin at the JurongEast station and ii was seriously expecting a guy who was huge.,ugly,loads of pimples around the face n so unpleasantly looking or even ummm.slenger..??

ii was shocked it turned out to be the otha wae round.He was cute.N pleasant.=))

Hmmm....y am ii talkiing about all hym..?

Perhaps ii am juz miiisiing hym pretty badlyy siia.

Wateva iit is...,yeah.ii cant waiit.Tmr ii am myting ma dearez funky fresh babes here at ma home...=)) yeah babes.=))

ii cant wait.

ii am so miisiing eu guyz too.

we reallii nyd to catch tyngs up yeah ppl.=))

Love eu peeps somuchiiez.Mwarrrks.

Lotsa kiissses...,,

dilemmastarHEARTSeuSoMuch.Mwwwwwaaaaaarks.!!!!!

[[ii.am.simpli.lonely.without.hym.]]

2007-05-23T23:20:00.000+08:00

I am juz too shocked to hear wateva happened to hym.Officer Shahril called mi when ii was on the wae to Amos class.II simpli felt lyke bursting out loud but ii had to calm maself down.II was juz too shocked.Realli.

ii wanna be wyf hym but ii realised that he could neva be wyf mii now.He is not celebrating the hari raya wyf mi.ii am left all alone.ii nyd hym.Plz.ii realli do.Bec0z of hys past mistake ii have to suffer...

ii was too sh0cked.Shocked.

ii miiss hym n ii am about to CRY.

[[ii am miisiing eu.ii am tynkiing of eu everii single second.]]

2007-05-17T08:25:00.000+08:00

Omg...da lame siiak akuu tk update dys pathetic blog.Warteva la siia.Yeah,ii am so miisiing ma boi lollipop n ii am counting the months he is here bk by ma syde...yeah...

Ii am so freakiingly nyd hym n0w.ii don wanna lose hym siia.II hope he is doiing well in DB n he does have ma support...II believe he is alright dere n he is well enuf to take good care of hymself...

II am in skool now n practically not many has turn up YET. This class is so freakingly SLACKED siia.They come at warteva tyme they tynk they wanna come...so the 0PPOSITE of secondary school siia.

ii am juz simplii sleepy now.Yesterdae went to myt Diana n Amy...It was ok la...but ii got nagging from PAPA at home la siia.

NAG,NAG,NAG,NAG N MORE NAGGING.Mama pon kalah siia.

Nyeh.II don feel loike going to skool 2dae but have to siia.ATTENDANCE.haiya...II don want ma attentdance to be bad la...II don wanna be debarred from exams n UPDATES!!Yeah...Exams is 2 weeks from now.2 WEEKS.

II don even n0e 1 ****ing tyng siia.II don even bother to study.II hate the practicakl so much sia.II don wanna sit 4 the exam.Can?

No choice.IIf ii do have the choice,ii don wanna sit 4 the exam but ii don.Hehe.

ok...n0w in class that Ermie is loike makiing mii wanna laugh out loud siia. He is sinnging..The SHEILA on 7 song...hahaha.

0h shyt.II am miisiing hym badlii n ii am feeling bad c0z he has written mii letters alot of tymes but ii still haven't reply to hys letter...S0wie...ii will reply a.s.a.p.II n0e eu misses mii n ii miisess eu as well.Loike hell eu noe.Looking at Diana and Amy really made mii feel jealous.II want eu by ma syde siia.BADLY.

Yeah...ii miisses ma BABES 2. Keep mii updated plz.

II am so l0nely siia.

II nyd eu guyz.

L0ve eu GUYZ.

Dilemmastar.

Happy Mommy's Dae.

2007-05-14T02:04:00.000+08:00

ii went 2 mak's place juz now n iit was the first tyme since ii was hugged n kissed.Yeah.Ma r'ship wyf her is betta.N tt is wat ii am happy abt coz tt was the tyng tt ii promised HYM.ii noe he is gona be happy abt iit.ii promise ii will be there 4 her n EU when eu all nyds mi.

Yeah.Mommy is nagging coz ii am using the damn tyng lyke so late at nyte so ii gtg.Nyte.

Yeah.ii nyd to update so here ii am...0hwell...Yana n her Roy followed mii all the wae to Mp...Thanks yeah Guyz...=)

0hwell...,Roy bought Yana alot of stuffs at Parkway Parade...She was unexpected n ii felt a lil bit of jealousy gushhiing...C0z ii miiss Hubby to buy mii all tt stuffs c0z ii remembered those tymes he showered mii wyf all dese stuffs...

Haiz...Heheheh~! ii am so bored now...

gtg yeah...=)

[[Hurt.]]

2007-05-03T20:50:00.000+08:00

II am sad 2dae.II am juz feeling down.II am doomed.II miisses hym...II nyd hym.II want hym.Saw hym 2dae.II was feeliing sad.

[[ii.am.so.HAPPY!.]]

2007-04-27T08:48:00.000+08:00

0hwell..ya...ii am happy 2dae..d0nn0 y...hehe~!Yesterdae when ii was on the wae home from skool ii suddenly had the urge to open up the letterbox n checked the letters...N ii was simplii happy siaa wen ii received a letter fr0m HUBBY!!!! II read iit n ii cried siia.

0hwell...since ii don have betta tyngs 2 do todae...,ii am gonna type out the contents of the letter rather than scanning iit out..Hehe.

Assalamualaikum wahai Sulastrie yang tersayang.

Ape khabar di sane,hubby di sini baik-baik selalu.Ayg,hubby harap yang ayg dapat melupakan segale kenangan pahit yang pernah kite lalui dan hubby berjanji yang hubby takkan mengulangi kesilapan lalu.Hubby tidak akan meninggalkan ayg keseorangan lagi dan juge hubby akan sentiasa mengingati ayg selalu.Macam mane dengan sekolah baru ayg,hubby harap semuenye berjalan dengan lancar.Hubby harap ayg belajarlah rajin-rajin supaya ayg lulus dalam pelajaran dan tidak menghampakan mama lagi.Ayg sampaikan salam hubby kepade seluruh keluarga ayg dan juge seluruh keluarga hubby.Janganlah ayg lupe,jagelah kesihatan ayg dan juge makan minom ayg di luar sane.

N alot-lot more.

ii am bz.brb ppl.

[[iiriitated.s0.dammyt.]]

2007-04-25T20:37:00.000+08:00

0h 0k...s0 ii am c0ncerned that ii donn0 wat 2 type 0ut 2dae...n guess wat ii did..? I typed iit all out in ma hp. S0 here is ma entry 4 2dae.

II am feeling betrayed.Yes.That is the feeling.I juz nyd hym n0w.Unf0rtunately...,II juz d0n wanna b left al0ne lyk dys bec0z ii d0n feel g0od at all.II nyd Wan.II realli d0.He means al0t 2 mii.Yes.He d0es.I juz want 2 b wyf hym n 0nlii hym.Aargh.

II am pissed off wyf maself c0z ii delete the inbox msgs iin ma hp...Daen la.Fark la kan.Apparently...ii am now in skool...haha...reached here so freakingly early sia.Wth...

0h A-Leng ah...s0 wat is the meaniing of cheapoNana...?Hahha.0nce eu noe the answer don 4get 2 inform mii hor...?

Btw...,ii wanna tell eu all abt 2 daez bk...ii saw tt freakiing arsehole...! Aim...~!
Wah sian uh...iit was utterly unexpected n ii was lyke being the stupid mii sia...Fr0m far ii tot he looked lyke 0ne of ma clazmate wyc iit d0esn't turn out tt wae...ii suddenly felt angry n iiriitated uh.Wat the heck. He spoilt ma mood sia....N Naz n Leng actualli saved the dae.=) They were beiing wacky2...n ii was laughiing so hard.

Yeah...

ii realli donno wart am ii to type aniimore coz out of some reason...,ii don feel lyke blogging sia...ii wanna sleep..But can't.Heh.

0h Ma Funky Fresh Babes.W0 aii nii.Misses eu l0ads n l0ads.

Mwarks.

Yes....to ma dearez fiance...,Irwan Bin JAafar...ii misses n l0ve eu loike hell sia.

Mwarrrrks.

Dilemmastar

[[sko0l...L0ve...heartbreaks...]]

2007-04-23T09:15:00.000+08:00

ii am so miissiing hym now n ii donnop how am ii supposed 2 descriibe ma inner feelings...ii kept on tynking of hym n yup...i do dream of hym from tyme to tyme wyc makes mii feel so... INCOMPLETE...

ii want hym 2 be here wyf mii at all tymes ii nyd hym n ii hope he is here 2 console mii wen ii am down...ii nyd hym so much...ii am in love wyf hym...sometymes ii do feel the guilty feelings overcame mii but ii have to be strong infront of ma parents n ma frenz...ii have to smile n be happi in front of them, but the fact iis tt no one undastands the pain ii am going through...

ii am faciing all dys alone tho there are ma beloved ppl who are there by ma syde..ii can try to forget hym 4 awhile but the feelings kept on coming back...n ii dreamt of hym almoz everydae...

Perhaps ii am tynking of hym so much...try 2 imagine...iin the bus...while ii accidentally slept...,ii dreamt of hym n ii woke up wyf tears streamiing on ma cheeks...iit was awkward but ii have to juz keep ma head l0w...='(

ii am now iin ma claz...n ii am in the middle of lesson...heheh~!

Warteva lahz...0h well...,ii wanna let Irwan Jaafar noe how much he means 2 mii n how much he has br0ught into ma lyfe evasince he steeped into ma lyfe.

ii love eu irwan bin jaafar...4eva...

ma hart will owaez remain 4 eu...

Mwarks..

toodles peeps...=)

Signing off...,

.::.Dilemmastar.::.

[[ii am seri0uslii devoted 2 hym.]]

2007-04-19T08:32:00.000+08:00

ii am s0 miisiing hym lyke al0t...ii am now iin ma clz typiing ma blog...um...yala...smlm tk type ma blog entry sey...gue rinduu dia terlalu bnyk seyz...ii want hym 2 noe h0w much ma love is 4 hym...hmmm...juz now ii saw abg Jep..wen ii was at the paya lebar waiting 4 the bus...he was in the bus 76 wyc ii tynk he is off 2 werk...(w0ah...,he rarely wakes up tt earlyy sak s0 ii must hav guessed he is off to werk la...,where elze ryte...?) h0w ii wiish he is here 2 send mii to skool...instead of mii going wyf seha...0ya...ma newly made frenz are ok...

0hwell...,lemmi tell eu abt ma skool n ma frenz...ahaks.

Lemmi start...

0hk...ma ferz dae of skool was kinda ok...ii tot ii wouldn't be making frenz but iin the end....,i dyd n tt was ok...=) ii g0t 2 n0e seha n siti fr0m otha class ferz before ii knew ma clazmatez...ii was not impresed wyf the looks of ma clazmatez c0z they mostlii looked so...um...wild..?0hwell...,some of them la...especially the malays...ahaks...But ii was absolutelii wr0ng...

hmmm....ii made frenz wyf kin n naz..and we dyd um...lyke had our breakfast 2gether n lunch to0...den the chinese gals were superly duperly frenly n ii am loviin' iit....=)

c0mes the dae 2 0nwards we kinda hav our breaks 2gether at one table together wyf the chinese ppl n we cracked loads of jokes 2gether..the minahs n mats in ma class went their separate waez tho.

ii tot ii wouldn't be fitting into the claz but hell...,was ii absolutelii wrong...ii made new frenz but they are wae different fr0m ma dearez funkii fresh coZ ii miss them lyke ALOT.Undescribable.

Hmm..ii am now in dae 4 n ii am kinda feel ok...=) yay.succeed.to b fitted into the claz.=)

0hwell peepz.ii miiss eu lahz.

love ma dearez irwan so muchie muchiez eu noe.

0h ma irwan...,ii wish eu noe how much ma love is 4 eu n onlii eu...

[[juz came bk fr0m skool]]

2007-04-16T17:29:00.000+08:00

0k...2dae iis ma 1st dae iin skool n darn was ii verii w0rried ii didn't make anii frenz...at laz ii did n ii was siimplii happi.=) 0k..made frenz fr0m a few ppl in diiferent c0urses n a few fr0m ma c0urse wyc iis kinda great...The bad news is that ma c0urse is filled wyf minah n mats reps wh0 t0tallii d0minate the sko0l...II HATE IIT MAN!!!

ii am siimplii glad that the dae is over n n0w ii am here in the cyber cafe wyf amy typing all dys 0ut...ahaks...0h well...ii am simplii bored pluz tired...nevertheless ii reallii enjoyed ma ferz dae...iit d0esn't reallii turns out badlii lyke ii expected 2 b....

ii am so miishiing the 5ffb...II w0nder...,d0 we have the tyme lyke we used 2 hav agaiin..?Haiiz..~!ii d0n tynk ma frenz iin sko0l n0w can repLace ma frenshiip wyf dem seyz...

N0 MATTER WAT...,5 FUNKY FRESH BABES 4EVA~!!!!

II MYSH IRWAN BIN JAAFAR...='(

[[iit has been QUITE sometyme]]

2007-04-15T22:29:00.000+08:00

IIt has been realli quite s0metyme since ii last bl0gged iinto dys.Al0t has happened n ii donn0 iif ii Lyke iit.Especially when Wan iis no l0nger here.ii mysh hym l0ads.Realli.0h well...ii have to keep iit all updated fr0m t0dae 0nwards iif ii hav the tyme...ii pr0miise...=)

N well...ii got maself a place iin Ite Macpherson after getting the 0level results wyc ii didn't d0 well...II am takiin multimedia techn0l0gy...ii d0n wanna be placed iin that sko0l c0z iit SUX big tyme n ii reallii hate iit.

II went there 0nce few weeks back 2 buy ma sko0l uniif0rms n ii much hated the skool at the first l0ok.Serii0uslii.IIt iis such a big sko0l wyc ii d0n deny but the fact iis tt iit iis full 0f th0se PATHETIC malay GUYS. N ii juz f0und 0ut tt MALAY guyz made up 80% 0f ma sk0olmates n tt realli st0pped ma appetiite 2 step int0 the sk0ol AGAIN.

0hwell...,let's juz leave tt t0pic behynd n start s0metyng new.Ma dearez iis n0t here wyf mii 4 a few m0nths due 2 s0me unwanted circumstances n ii have t0 face iit.He iis n0t g0nna celebrate 0ur few advances anniversariies t0gether...ii am juz upset but hey...II have t0 m0ve 0n...ii have t0 be str0ng g0iin thru all dys parts n parcels 0f lyfe...

II n0e ii will wait 4 hym n0 matter wateva happens c0z he means al0t 2 mii...ii stiill d0 have ma famiily 2 rely 0n n make ma dae...Actuallii ii juz came bk fr0m l0t 1 n Limbang n ii b0ught ma stati0naries n s0me accesories 4 sk0ol t0m0rr0w...

YES. II have sko0l tmr n ii am s0 n0t g0nna enj0y iit.Infact ii am n0t even yet readii.Physically yes ii am lah but MENTALLY..?N0pe2..ii d0n tynk s0...Argh.

Ii was infact alreadii beiin warned by ma 0WN parents 2 behave maself iin sko0l...They are actualli afraiid tt ii may be astray AGAIN.

0hya...Laz week ii spent ma h0lidaez wyf ma 5FFB...But wat the heck...Iqah didn't turned up...N0netheless we did had FUN.Yay.Mii n Miirah iis 0k 0readii la...We are frenz 0nce agaiin.=) Thank G0d...II trulii h0pe 0ur frenshiip wiill remaiin as cl0se as we used 2 b iin the 0l' tymes...

Speakiin 0f wyc...ii miisses ma 5C's..!!!!N ii miises HYM.YES.HYM...

[[I am attached(engaged)]]

2007-02-25T17:44:00.000+08:00

Al0ha peepz...Sian uh...da lame tk type out ma bl0g sey...biasa la bz pe skrg...Ahaks~! C0z I am bz wyf ma engagement ceremony...Finally it is 0ver...I am n0w 0fficially hys...Alhamdulillah..=) I am glad all is 0ver n0w...

Thanks 2 all ma frenz wh0 to0k their tyme 2 c0me 4 ma engagement...Ahaks~! I w0re heavy make ups...I really dispised the lipstick...

I l0oked lyke th0se minah2's in Geylang...Ahaks~! Ewwwwwww!!!

Ahaks...~! Nevertheless...,evertyng went well n smo0thly yesterday..I was umm..happi at the same tyme I felt uneasy...

Wah... I feel as if I was a superstar whereby ppl wanna take ma ph0t0s...Ahaks~! Glam0urnye akuu...!!!

Hmmm....Kla peepz...

g0tta buzz 0ff...

brb so0n...=)

Special thanks....:

1)R0snani Bte Bakri...(mama)
2)Jumali Bin Juri...(papa)
3)Cik N0i...
4)Cik Et0n...
5)Cik Yati...
6)Cik Tati..
7)Nyayi...
8)All ma family members wh0 i didnt menti0n their names...
9)Ma neighb0urs...
10)Seri Mirdawati Zainal...
11)Nur Azieani Arifin...
12)Nur Shahamirah Razali...
13)Siti Hajar 0thman...
14)Khalisah M.Khalip...
15)Nurul Ain Md.Misnawi...
16)Nur Jannah Rauf...
17)Zainab Sallehudin n partner...
18)Nur Faradilla...
19)Nur Azliyana Aziz...
20)Zais Reny Sabrina Ishak...
21)AneQ...

N th0se i didnt menti0n...thanks 4 making dys big dae 0f mine a p0ssibLe 0ne...

L0ve euu peeps...

I L0ve eu Wan.

[[Disappointed.]]

2007-02-10T22:04:00.000+08:00

Well0z peeps... It has been a l0ng tyme since i typed into dys... S0 here I g0...

I took ma olevel results yesterday. It was such a disappointment. I can't blame any0ne but maself when I got the results. I was the one wh0 played wyf fire. I n0e ma parents...,especially mama wh0 was truly disappointed. I failed.
Adek mintak maaf mama. Adek tahu..adek tak sepatotnye mendapat keputusan yg sebegini...
Haiz....~!
Btw...congratulations 2 ma clazzmates wh0 passed..n get 2 go 2 either p0ly n jcs...
Hmmm...well...ma hubby accompanied mii 2 skool yesterdae...Thanks 4 being dere 4 mii ma hubby...
I L0ve euu many2...
Hmmm...I donno if I am going 2 ite or retake ma 0level...I am such in dilemma...
Well...`! Betta make the decisions fast la...
Kla..
I figured i betta stop here...
L0ve euu peeps...
L0ve euu many2 ma dearez bucuk swiit cutie pie b0i l0llipop hubby...
MuuuuUUUacks.

Dilemmastar

[[I am Independent..Ahaks~!]]

2007-02-01T00:03:00.000+08:00

Weee~! I went t0 ma the stall ma m0m werks 2dae at Queensway...Ahaks...~! The bez tyng is tt I went al0ne...I was afraid I myte get l0st but hmmm...guess wat..?? I didn't..! I managed 2 reach at the destinati0n...Ahaks~! Felt truly satisfied la peeps...

Hmmm....I was so happy 2dae la...Ma Hubby sang mii the s0ng Ku ukir namamu...I was s0 t0uched...Ahaks~!Undescribable la...I was speechless at tt p0int 0f tyme...I l0ve hym s0 muchies la...

Can't live w/o hym.

Yes.I am sure.Definately sure.

Til here...

L0tsa L0ve...,

Sulastrie

Dilemmastar

Leave euu peeps wyf the s0ng dedicated 2 hubby...

Kuukir Namamu

Ku terpaut sejak pertemuan itu

Hatiku berkata ingin mengenali mu

Setiap malam wajahmu terbayang

Disaksikan sinaran bulan

Titisan hujan bagaikan harapanku

Tinggi langit tak mungkinkan tercapai

Tinggi gunung jadi penghalang

Hasratku oh sayang

( korus )

Lautan api

Sudah pun kurenangi

Kuukirkan namamu

Di hati yang jadi pujaanku

Gerbang kebahagian terpancar indah

Tapi hanya dengan sekelip mata

Sekeping hati yang sudah berpunya

Pergi dan takkan kembali

[[Wen I l0ve HyM]]

2007-01-30T17:14:00.000+08:00

When I l0ve s0me0ne...,I am afraid 0f l0sing hym c0z he means the w0rld 2 mii.I d0n wanna let the pers0n g0 n als0 I d0n wanna c any 0tha gals trying 2 snatch hym away fr0m mii...I will alwaez treasure hym in ma lyfe n ma l0ve 4 hym will neva fade...

Hmmm.~!Juz put the f0ne d0wn wyf huBBy...Pitied hym c0z he haven't had hys lunch yet.N0 w0nder mcm tk berisi gituu...Ahaks~!S0wie b...I d0n mean wat I said..Ahaks~!

Hmm...tmr perhaps I am g0nna f0ll0w mama 2 werk...Can't wait..Weee~! Ahaks~! I mysh hym s0 much th0 yesterdae I alreadii met hym..Ahaks~! I d0n care...I mysh hym so bl00dyy muchies.

Kla peeps.

Brb later.

[[Dys Is 4 ma hubby...]]

2007-01-28T21:36:00.000+08:00

Ma hubby...dys song is 4 euuu.... I l0ve euuu....Read the lyrics...

Truly Madly Deeply

I'll be your dream,

I'll be your wish

I'll be your fantasy.

I'll be your hope,

I'll be your love be everything that you need.

I love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do..

I will be strong

I will be faithful

cause I'm counting on

A new beginning

. A reason for living

. A deeper meaning.

I want to stand with you on a mountain.

I want to bathe with you in the sea.

I want to lay like this forever.

Until the sky falls down on me...

And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky,

I'll make a wish send it to heaven

then make you want to cry..

the tears of joy for all the pleasure

and the certainty

that we're surrounded by the comfort and protection of..

the highest power.

In lonely hours

. The tears devour you..

I want to stand with you on a mountain,

I want to bathe with you in the sea.

I want to lay like this forever,

Until the sky falls down on me...

Oh can't you see it baby?

You don't have to close your eyes

Cause it's standing right before you.

All that you need will surely come...

I'll be your dream

I'll be your wish

I'll be your fantasy.

I'll be your hope

I'll be your love be everything that you need.

I'll love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do...

I want to stand with you on a mountain,

I want to bathe with you in the sea

.I want to lay like this forever,

Until the sky falls down on me...

I want to stand with you on a mountain,

I want to bathe with you in the sea.

I want to lay like this forever,

Until the sky falls down on me...

AYANG SAYANGKAN HUBBY

I L0VE EUU.

L0ve...,

Sulastrie

[[I am getting engaged s00n]]

2007-01-28T21:00:00.000+08:00

Can't believe iit..Ahaks`!Well...I am TAKEN 4 sure..S0 GUYS 0ut dere..d0n disturb mii aniim0re aitezz..?

I bel0ngs t0 a swiit fella named Irwan Bin Jaafar..L0ve hym l0ads...Ahaks`!

Went 2 Teck Whye juz n0w 2 buy s0me f00d 4 papa n mama...Als0 went 2 Sinseh 2 buy mama s0me bandages and anticeptic 4 her sw0llen leg..Haiz..`! Pity her...

Hmmm`! Hubby is at Parkway Parade wyf hys m0m n fren...Ahaks`! Well...Yup....B... I l0ve euu...

While I was 0n the wae 2 Teck Whye..I tynk al0t 0f hym...I mysh hym lyke craziiiie...

Well...I g0tta st0p here c0z I wanna t0k 2 Hubby..`!

L0ve euu peeps.

Much L0ve...,

Sulastrie

Dilemmastar...

.::.Su L0ve Wan.::.

[[0ur L0ve st0ry will neva ends...]]

[[Happi 4 m0nth Anniversary..]]

2007-01-27T23:00:00.000+08:00

Happy 4 m0nth Anniversary ma l0ve...Eu will alwaez be treasured deep in ma heart n ma l0ve 4 euu will neva ends...May we will alwaez b as 0ne...Insya Allah..

s0metymes i wonder if i am alwaez stupid.Perhaps i am.Perhaps i am born stupid. stupid n cheap.Haiz`! Lyfe is getting c0mplicated. Infact rilli c0mplicated. I d0n wanna c0ntinue dys relationship.I rilli d0n.Lyfe is s0metymes abt cheating.U n0e s0me0ne has been d0ing tyngs 2 hurt u behind ur bk and still euu pretend as if euu are still respecting hym/her.I d0nn0.It's ridicul0us s0metymes.Lyke real lyfe drama 0r s0metyng.And dys happens ryte infr0nt 0f ma verii eyes.N I feel lyke laughing out l0ud s0metymes euu noe...Haiz...~!

Well...I went 2 geylang wyf mama n arfan...N met hubby dere...haiz~!I mysh hym so muchiez...Nasib la terubat rindu..N ma f0ne is causing problems.Hate it!!!!!!!!Feel lyke juz wanna throw it away!I juz can't take it anym0re c0z tt hp isn't rytefulli mine!I want ma 0wn hp!N n0 0ne wanna g0 n tell the truth 2 tt assh0le Amin 2 hv it bk fr0m hym.Wat d0es he tynk he is..? A king..? Whereby every0ne is g0nna salute hym n b scared..?Wateva la... The funni tyngis tt ma 0WN parents d0esn't ask hym...If I were 2 ask hym...,let mii tell eu...I am surely g0nna get kicked n all tt.He tynks he is PERFECT..!!Hello!!!Euu are s0 n0t PERFECT la.Dammit.

I d0nn0 if being engaged is 0k...c0z it d0esn't make sense 2 mii...Watevala...I am rilii out of t0pic n0w...s0 ya...tt's all...

Kla peeps.

L0ve euu ppl 0waez..

MMMMUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAACCCCCKKS.~!
Dilemmastar

Sulastrie

[[I am so pissed 0ff wyf Wan]]

2007-01-26T11:17:00.000+08:00

H0w culd he..? H0w culd he d0 dys 2 mii..?He pr0mised mii tt he w0uldn't dye hys hair n0 l0nger but he did! I am s0 utterly pissed 0ff...N he hv the cheek 2 sae tt it will b hys last...!!!Damn la...!he pr0mised mii m0re den 0nce n he still d0es it!!!ARGHHHHHHHHHH~!

I d0nn0 la..!!!Up 2 hym la...!!!Suke hatii dia la...!!! I can't sae much c0z it's hys lyfe n0t mine`! I am juz hys future fiancee! I d0n rili mean al0t 2 hym..He can d0 wateva he wants la ye c0z I d0n wanna b0ther hym n0 m0re...

Everytyng is all up 2 hym n0w.I wanna wash ma hands n n0w I guess he is 0ld enuf 2 take care 0f hymself.He n0es wat is best 4 hm n he can make hys 0wn decisi0ns...I d0nn0 y I'd even b0ther abt hys life anyway..??

He n0es wat he's d0ing n he d0esn't nyd s0me0ne lyke mii 2 tell hym t0 d0 the ryte tyng....Haiz`!

I am seri0usly pissed 0ff 2dae til I d0nn0 wat 2 type 0ut..

Kla...

I gtg...

Bye peeps.

Dilemmastar

Changed ma s0ng 2 Pelamin Anganku Musnah-Azie

[[Ma l0ve 4 euu will ends...]]

2007-01-25T03:36:00.000+08:00

Al0ha ma dearez frenz n readers..Ahaks`!

As usual I can't sleep c0z i d0n feel sleepy at all th0 the tyme sh0ws it is alreadii 0316hrs...Ahaks`!
I am miising hym lyke hell as usual...I juz can't stop tynking 0f hym all the tyme..

Well...juz quarrelled wyf hym juz n0w in the aftern0on...I asked hym 2 get back wyf hys ex...I n0e I was wr0ng but due 2 s0me circumstances n reasons...,I tynk he is sp0ssed 2 b by her syde rather than mine c0z she rilli nyd hym betta den I d0...Atlast...,we ended up saying s0rries(l0ts 0f tears!!)

I was t0ld tt hys family has g0ne 0ut 2 buy 0ur engagement ring...Ahaks`!Can't wait c0z I am g0nna b hys 0ne dae.InsyaAllah...Pray 4 mii k ppl..?Amiin...I d0n mynd if dere are ppl 0ut dere hu simply tries 2 snatch hym away fr0m mii...but OVER MA DEAD BODY K..?

Ahaks`! Ma dearez...Euu n0e ma heart is c0mpletely 4 euu n we will g0nna get engaged s00n...I h0pe we will b able 2 g0 thru the r0llerc0asters 0f l0ve as 0ne...We will remain 2gether n0 matter wat happens...Tt is wat we pr0mised ryte...I n0e ma naggings adds 0n 2 ur pr0blems n0wadaez s0 I wanna let euu n0e tt I am trulys0rry...I d0n mean 2...But u n0e...we d0 have eg0s...N tt is wat is wr0ng n0w...I am s0 s0rry...
I pr0mise 2 b alwaez by ur side n0 matter wat happens n I will alwaez wait 4 euu n everytyng...D0 have faith in mii...

I l0ve euu ma dearez Hubby...

I wanna be urs...Ahaks`!=)
May Allah bless Us...
Insya Allah...
Amiin...
L0tsa L0ve...,
Sulastrie
Dilemmastar

[[I d0nn0 wat's ryte n wrong]]

2007-01-24T02:28:00.000+08:00

I am agitated.I can't even sleep.I am so worried.I d0nn0 wat 2 d0.I juz d0nn0 if I c0uld still c0ntinue ma relati0nship wyf hym.I nyd s0me0ne I can undastand 2 relate 2 mii n talk dys problem out.I can't talk 2 hym c0z he w0uldn't even b0ther 2 listen 2 ma explanati0ns n he will keep 0n intrepeting in hys 0wn waes.In an0ther werds...,we will start quarrelling.I wanna n0e if he rili has changed.I d0n wanna get hurt anim0re.I had enuf of all dys.Bel.Thanks 4 all the truth.I knew c0z he had c0nfessed 2 mii earlier.

I d0nn0 wat 2 d0.God...,plz help mi find the wae 0ut w/o hurting b0th 0ur feelings.I l0ve hym 2 much til I can't kept 0n tynking abt 0ur future...I wanna lead ma lyfe wyf hym n 0ur children.W0uld tt be even p0ssible..?

He told mii he l0ved mii n I hope tt's the truth.Wat am I 2 d0 n0w.?

Irwan.I l0ve eu s0 much til I can't even describe h0w much ma l0ve is 4 eu...It's juz t00 deep.I neva had dys kinda feelings in ma whole lyfe n I d0n wanna hav dys feelings t0wards anyone elze anym0re...

I v0wed 2 0nly feel dys wae 2 eu...InsyaAllah..I believe Allah will alwaez guide mi thru the ryte path 4 the b0th 0f us n i n0e we will find the wae out 0ne dae.

I h0pe eu had rili changed 4 mii c0z I wanna be wyf the new eu..I d0n want the 0ld playb0y 2exist anym0re...

Plz hubby...Sh0w the ppl arnd euu tt euu can change n u had changed.

Plz.

I l0ve euu peeps.

Attenti0n..~!

To Princess Azie>>Zie...,akuu jd g chalet 2 tapi akuu tk c0nferm sape akuu bwk..tp lau kau 0vernyte akuu p0n nk la...ahaks`! The m0re the merrier..kn...?Ahaks.

T0 hajar>>s0wie lau akuu tk ikot kau g IMM tt dae.Ada hal la..S0wie.

To ALL>>t0 all ma frenz...jemputla dtg ma majlis 2nang...will update m0re so0n...

[[I am so scared n0w!~]]

2007-01-22T23:30:00.000+08:00

Sape sak Bel..?Y did she sae tt in ma c0mments...? Y did she sae she knew Wan betta den I d0..?I hd been wyf Wan 4 lyke 4 m0nths n we are getting engaged s00n...~!I am s0 petrified 0f l0sing hym...~! I d0n wanna l0se hym c0z he riLi means everytyng 2 mii...!

God...,plz help mi out dys mess.I wanna have the bez wae 4 mi n hym...I want the truth.

I wanna noe if he is the one 4 mii.I d0n wanna get hurt 0ne dae c0z it will rilli kills mi inside...I wanna noe.C0z i hv the ryte 2 n0e...

Plz la wan...Plz...I d0n wanna get fooled...I d0n want maself 2 b cheated by euu..If euu feels like telling mi the truth plz juz tell mi rather than I f0und out maself...Tt's g0nna hurt mii.S000 deeeP.

I am chatting wyf ma dearez Azie n Lisot..Ahaks~! Mysh them so bl00dy much.

Muacks DarLz...

Kla...

Bye.

Terjagaku sedari mimpi yang panjang

Melayang berkelana di langit terbuka

Menatap suci segala bidadari

Wajah berkaca perawanlah selamanya

Bersinar mata seumpama mutiara

Santun luhurnya tak tercela sesiapa

Di manakah dia...

Di sisi terlenalah setia

Dewi hatiku seri cinta

Ingin dikau kujadikan temanku

Dalam hidup yang kekal

Berpanjangan Kepada-Mu Tuhan aku berserah

Kusujud... syukur padamu

Menemukan ku kekasih hati

Oh bidadari sanubariku

Oh kekasihku...

Oh kekasihku..

L0ve euu peeps.

XxDilemmastarxX

[[BabY b0i...Ma L0ve 4 euu will neva end]]

2007-01-22T12:11:00.000+08:00

I am beginning 2 fall in love wyf tt song..Ahaks...Dambaan...Tt s0ng rili made mi cry the 1st tyme i heard it..Pluz the guy is not badd to0...Ahaks`! Yela 2 ehk Hernie...Abeh mane kau nk ltk si Wan 2...?Finally I am getting engaged s00n...Wyf hym...Ahaks`!Insya Allah...Well...he has'nt surrender yet...I am so pissed off c0z ma m0m is lyke NAGGING n0w...

Wateva...I d0n gyv a damn...`!Wateva la ehk...?Hmmm`! Yesterday the wh0le damn dae didn't t0k 2 hym n I m so missing hym 0readii...

Well...I can't type much c0z firstly I don have anii topic 2 type out..Juz wanna let

Irwan Bin JaaFar tt i L0ve hym l0ads...

2ndLy..Mama is nagging...

Kla Peepz...I gotta go n0w...Hey..d0n 4get 2 tag mii aitez...?

I l0ve euu many2 ma busyukk~!

[[~I am g0nna wait 4 hym th0 it takes a HUNDRED YEARS]]

2007-01-17T20:17:00.000+08:00

I am definately gonna wait 4 ma hubby tho it may takes a million years...

B....don u be afraid c0z I will love eu wyf all ma heart...

I am so gonna stick by euu thru thick n thin of dys relationship...

I will be ur fiancee soon.

Can't believe tyme flies dys fast.

W0ah~!.

I l0ve euu ma busyuuk Hubby...

Muacks.

~I will wait 4 hym altho it takes 100yrs!~

2007-01-17T01:58:00.000+08:00

To ma Irwan Bin Jaafar....

Read carefuLLy...

I will alwaez wait 4 euu n0 matter wat happens...

I will alwaez fulfill 0ur pr0mises.

I l0ve eu.

Memori Sekuntum Rindu

1Di kala sepi in

iHatiku terluka lagi

Engkau telah mendustai

Sebuah janji(Sebuah janji 3X)

oh...sayang

Oh tak pernah ku menduga

Engkau curang dalam cinta

Budimu yang seindah dulu

Hiasan cuma

( korus )

Mengapa aku

Dipersalahkan

Mengapa tidak oh dirimu

Kekasihku... oh... oh...

Dulu bercinta berjanji sumpah setia

Mengapa kini kau dustai2

Dulu rindu serindu-rindunya

Kini benci sebencinya

Mahu semahu-mahunya

Malu aku tak malu

( ulang korus, 2 & 1 )

[[~A shoulder 2 cry 0n~]]

2007-01-13T14:25:00.000+08:00

Unsure...

I edited ma bl0g maself...Ahaks~!S0 I juz do it anyh0w...

Ahaks...

I put the song...Shoulder 2 cry on....

A slow n meaningful song dedicated to ma loved ones...

Remember...I m here 2 b0rr0w u ma shoulder 2 cry on....

L0ve eu peeps...

Life is full of lots of up and downs,

And the distance feels further when you're headed for the ground,

And there is nothing more painful than to let you're feelings take you down,

It's so hard to know the way you feel inside,

When there's many thoughts and feelings that you hide,

But you might feel better if you let me walk with you by your side,

And when you need a shoulder to cry on,

When you need a friend to rely on,

When the whole world is gone,

You won't be alone,

cause I'll be there,

I'll be your shoulder to cry on,

I'll be there,

I'll be a friend to rely on,

When the whole world is gone,

you won't be alone,

cause I'll be there.

All of the times when everything is wrong

And you're feeling like

There's no use going on

You can't give it up

I hope you work it out and carry on

Side by side,

With you till the end

I'll always be the one to firmly hold your hand

no matter what is said or done

our love will always continue on

Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on

everyone needs a friend to rely on

When the whole world is gone

you won't be alone cause I'll be there

I'll be your shoulder to cry on

I'll be thereI'll be the one you rely on

when the whole world's gone

you won't be alonecause I'll be there!

And when the whole world is gone

You'll always have my shoulder to cry on....

~[[I am So GuiLTy]]~

2007-01-09T17:55:00.000+08:00

The dae tt happened yesterdae was such an unexpected one.I was shocked and I can't believe ma eyes.Yesterday I went 2 myt up wyf Hubby n den the b0th of us met Seri and Md.Nor(Seri's new guy)...

At ferz wen I met Hubby I was surprised to see hys UNBELIEVABLE hairdo...Darn.Hmmm...I brought hym to Ten Mile Junction n we bought a pair of clippers...Den I brought hym to Bukit Panjang Plaza...0tw dere Ketam kol mi up n we chatted 4 abt 3mins...B was getting furious.He was lyke sc0lding mi n tt rili spoilt ma mood.Argh.

Went to KFC n I told hym t0 buy s0me f00d 4 hymself...Den we were at tt point of tyme was in a bad m00d.I went out 0f KFC n gave mama a k0l but by the tyme I came bk into the KFC...,he was G0ne.Tried 2 k0l hys hp but was unsuccessful...I l00ked ar0und the wh0le BPP but there was n0 sign of hym.I was abt 2 cry.(Well...I c0nfessed,I cried.)Den finally he k0l mi up n picked mi up nearby the entrance of BPP...

We met Seri n Md.Nor...Ahaks~!Hmmm..tt guy is not badd...Well...hope she laz long wyf hym.Amin.

Went 2 CCk park n the 4 0f us spent our tyme dere.Ahaks~!Went hm...we walked at the field nearby ma place n saw AMIN n frenz...Dammit.I was in trouble...

Den Amin's frenz were lyke SIAL.They were lyke finding fault wyf Md.Nor...I am so sorri...Dys is all ma fault...

I am too tired la...Kla...till here la...

Kla peeps...

I wanna g0...Tag mii aite..??

Signing off...,
Sulastrie
Dilemmastar

1823hrs
09012007